Saso’s candor is refreshing, much like masturbation itself. Yet amidst his article’s liberating aspects, I am troublesomely reminded of the plague that is female sexuality. We either sheepishly deny our enjoyment of, and participation in, masturbation, objectify ourselves by bragging about it – a trivializing, fem-effacing mistake of which I myself am guilty – or heaven forbid, simply refuse to try. (Really girls, heaven forbids it.)
I would like to do several things in this short response: 1) Dispel the myth that female masturbation is obsolete, 2) Encourage you ladies to try it as a way to affirm your own worth and 3) Clarify that women who masturbate do it in the same spirit as male masturbation. We do it for our own pleasure, not to be “freaks” and move up on your spank-bank priority, you dirty male Nexus reader. (I know what you’re doing under the table.)
So please, come along into my childhood memories. Welcome to the bedroom of four-year-old Amanda. When I was little I couldn’t fall asleep without someone in my room. It was usually my mother and as I bumped and grinded with my stuffed animals, my alarmed mother would censure me: “Amanda! Stop wiggling!” When my grandmother would sit in my room, she learned to cope with my pre-pubescent sexuality with denial: “Oh, yes. It’s very good to get exercise before you go to sleep.”
Even at that young age, the message, “female masturbation is wrong,” made its way into my underdeveloped psyche, until one day I prayed to Jesus that if he gave me high-heeled jelly shoes, I would stop that evil business of wiggling. Well, lets just say Jesus never fulfilled his half of the bargain and I’ve had to deal with my transgressions ever since.
Ladies, masturbation is normal and fun. Most men don’t know how to please us, and if we can’t do it ourselves, we’ll fall into the mentality that we are undeserving of orgasms, which will cause much internalized and projected resentment. If you love yourself, please yourself. You’re worth it.
Men, yeah, we’re hot, but we don’t masturbate for your horny pleasure. I am not a “freak” because I know how to please myself sexually. I am simply a woman who knows what she wants and what she deserves, so don’t trivialize the fact that my sexual expression can equal yours.
I hope I have cleared the query. Women, embrace your sexuality and have a masturbation party. Men, embrace her sexuality and learn how to please her better. Everyone, Wiggle and be merry!
Amanda Gustafson is a sophomore religious studies and English major.