Remember back in the day when only the who’s who had cell phones? Now if one cannot get a hold of another’s cell, their lives are in disarray. The ‘human was befuddled when two – that’s right two – kids in lecture the other day answered their respective phones in class just to tell whoever on the other end that they were in class.

Thursday’s forecast: Perhaps UCSB should stop worrying about booze in IV, and institute a law permitting professors to pistol-whip kids whose phones go off during class.