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Online Survey Offers Readers Free Swag

Art Hoppe, the late star columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle, wrote decades of satire renowned by readers of that venerable paper for its wit and spot-on insight.
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Think!


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Campus Clans Thrive in Cyberspace

Back in the day, when we were 11 or 12 - you may not have even hit the double-digits yet - we pre-pubescent techies discovered the virtual world of America Online. Because we hadn't experienced real I...
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What Part of the Chicken is the Popcorn?

Those morons at PETA have done it again, this time fighting congressional legislation that would make fried chicken the official picnic food of Kentucky. See what I did there, three of the last eight ...
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Reevaluate Reasons for Protesting Iraq

On Feb. 15th, 2007, I participated in an event that I will never forget. Thousands of UCSB students joined me on a march to the 217 freeway in a protest against the war in Iraq. I was one of those peo...
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Think


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Mind, Body & Soul: Hush Little Baby, Don’t Say a Word

The average college student sleeps about seven hours per night, while the typical requirement for adults is eight hours per night. Obviously, everybody knows the atypical person who functions just fin...
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Wednesday Stumped

I usually try not to crack on fellow Nexites, but I can’t help but take offense with the latest “Wednesday Hump.” If you’re writing about attractive presidential candidates, yo...
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Globalized Economy Benefits Americans

People are always asking me, "Jordan, what's globalization about? How will it affect me? Will I be outsourced?"
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Decrease in Violence Proves Nothing

If you were so "fortunate" as to see George Bush's final State of the Union address or you've been "lucky" enough to have caught bits of Sen. John McCain's, R-Ariz. recent campaign speeches, you are w...
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Unexpected Campus Missile Projects Shock Student

I remember my "oh shit!" moment vividly. It was in the spring of last year, and I was walking to class on a warm sunny day. A fellow student stopped me on the main path that passes by Storke Tower wit...
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Drink


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Big Mouths Desecrate Free Speech

Time to find an exit. The party had severed since the host made Biggy bounce out, so I didn't have to spot a clock to realize it was a shade past midnight. But halfway through a Hefeweisen, and I'm al...
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Driving With the Influence

Aren’t you glad that I’m around to bring you stories like this one: Police in St. Augustine, Fla., arrested a motorist for strapping a 24-pack of beer into a seatbelt, leaving a 16-month-o...
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Mega McCain Leads After Super Tuesday

Super Tuesday has completely shifted the momentum of the Republican race for the party's presidential nomination. In only 24 hours, Ariz. Sen. John McCain was catapulted into the lead with 680 total d...
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