Opinion
All right, granted, watching the unfortunate exploits of the blacked-out freshmen gallivanting around Del Playa Drive provides a certain degree of amusement for us upperclassmen. Their antics take me ...
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You read that right, my sleepy-eyed stoners. Cannabis CURES cancer. Okay, that is a bit of propaganda wrapped up in overstatement. But guess what? It is our turn to spread the real propaganda of ganja...
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Do you ever go to sleep hoping you'll wake up inside that mind-bending, McDonald's-funded anti-drug film, starring every goddamn cartoon character that's ever graced the silver screen? You know, the o...
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Elections are just around the corner and you’ve probably made up your mind about a number of the issues after seeing the debates, watching the commercials and listening to both sides. I have a s...
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It’s that time again, where once every four years our elected officials do us, their constituency, a great favor. They allow us to vote! While the importance of voting cannot be over-stressed (y...
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I’ve been studying in Barbados for approximately six weeks. I have been dry precisely one time: on the airplane before I landed. Although as I disembarked from the plane, I walked into a light d...
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The Weathermate and I got in a big fight last week… something about “sleeping with other ‘humans.'” Anyway, in an effort to make it up to the ‘mate, I put together a real...
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Every time I read in the Nexus about the Isla Vista Master Plan, pedal through Pardall Road on my way to class and see protesting signs, or when one of my friends invites me via Facebook to one of the...
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John McCain versus Barack Obama. White versus black. Oldie versus newbie. Veteran versus rookie. Call it what you want, but this year’s ticket holds two of the most polar opposite candidates you...
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With a new year comes a new sea of bikes. Shiny beach cruisers, road bikes, mountain bikes, BMX bikes - whatever kind of bike you like or can afford. Enjoy these newly-bought squeaky-clean bikes becau...
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I recently came across a small flyer in Java Jones titled: “Girls you are gorgeous: Welcome to Isla Vista.” The words that followed were warm and sincere. It admonished the female populati...
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Sarah Palin was so cute in the debates last night. “Can I call ya Joe?” Awwww. You know what else is cute? Tiny cockapoo puppies taking a shit. Tomorrow’s weather: We’re fucked...
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The first weekend of college has played out the same way since Gerald Ford puked on a cop after too many beer bongs his freshman year at Michigan. Between the IVFP, a high concentration of free drinks...
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Everything shower every day
Has an extensive tote bag collection but never brings one to Trader Joe’s
Reusing condoms
Collecting tears to water their plants
Asking to shower together to “save water”
Air conditioning and electric blanket running simultaneously
Has gone from Temu to SHEIN for bikini purchases
Fracking
On their 10th flight out of Santa Barbara Airport this month
Owns seven Stanley cups
Wrote their environmental ethics essay with ChatGPT
Vegan contributing to Big Almond
