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Selfless Acts Make for Superior Sex

April 8, 2009 by

Spring Break rocked my world. Sure, it was chaste, due to the fact that my man’s penis opted to head south of the border rather than south of my panty line, and sure, I was bitter knowing that m...
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Weatherhuman for Mayor!

April 8, 2009 by

Damn you, JMike! Every year about this time, when A.S. elections are rolling around the corner, I embark on an awesome journey to become the next A.S. President.
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Beach Trash Lingers After Fun of Floatopia

April 8, 2009 by

While I am not a current student at UCSB, and I am not even a frequent reader of the Nexus, I felt compelled to write you regarding this weekend’s Floatopia event. It sounds like a great, debauc...
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PIKE Leadership Misses the Point in Crime Case

April 8, 2009 by

It is cruelly emblematic that PIKE leadership likens the negative reputation their fraternity has garnered in the assault of Thanh Hong to the slurs that accompanied it. PIKE, racial slurs have done f...
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Readers Respond to Freedom of Religion

April 7, 2009 by

Dear Megan, Here on the eighth floor, we have a very diverse, accepting group of young ladies. We are devoid of haters (especially of the "playa" variety). We do not appreciate your assault upon our ...
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Smells Like… Chicken.

April 7, 2009 by

Today, we have a very special, experimental Weatherbox.
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Readers Respond to Freedom of Religion

April 7, 2009 by

The religious, such as Megan Laffey in her opinion piece "Freedom of Religion?" (Daily Nexus, March 31), are constantly invoking the First Amendment any time they become offended. They are severely mi...
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The Ideal Spring Kickoff: Floatopia

April 7, 2009 by

Is Floatopia the Halloween of Spring Quarter? If it wasn't before, it is now. Floatopia is officially the first weekend of Spring Quarter at UCSB, reportedly drawing over 12,000 people for one day of ...
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Floatopia Was Fantastic…

April 6, 2009 by

We came in to the office yesterday, all tanner/pinker than when we left on Thursday, laughing about the drunken events that made up Floatopia 2009. But we were left wondering about the mess that was l...
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Floatopia Transmitted Infections

April 6, 2009 by

So I'm back from my one-day hiatus, and while I can't divulge the details of my mysterious disappearance, just know that it involved several transsexual hookers, a Bolivian jail, a whole lot of blow a...
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On Awkward Boners and Catching His Eye

April 6, 2009 by

As the Notorious B.I.G. so famously said, "Mo Igor, mo problems." This week is no different. Okay, sit back, relax, put your hand in your pants, and enjoy, because this first question is a little raun...
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Give Us Back the Facebook We Know and Love!

April 3, 2009 by

It's that time of year when students all across campus are distressed: Facebook has changed its layout again. But this time, Facebook is completely, 100 percent biting off of Twitter. The new, "improv...
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An Orwellian Age of Data

April 2, 2009 by

During the late 1980s, a researcher at Centre Européen de Recherche Nucléaire, Dr. Tim Berners-Lee, developed the early model of what we now know as the Internet. It wasn’t until the m...
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Absent Without Leave

April 2, 2009 by

Don’t you just hate it when you’re working on a group project, and you really need something from someone right before it’s due; say for instance, you – being an esteemed Nexus...
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Wallow Away With the Whales

April 2, 2009 by

Standing at the rail on a boat next to a forty-foot animal, you begin to feel a little bit inconsequential. There is something about standing next to an animal that outweighs you by more than 3,000 po...
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