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Things Not To Do When You’re Drunk

March 9, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

A word to the wise: If you're large, male and drunk, there are certain things you should and should not attempt.
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On Joblessness, Loneliness and Anxiousness

March 9, 2009 by Igor Hiller

Hello there, it’s me, Igor. This column is due Sunday morning, and it’s Saturday night, and I’ve been drinking because my editor Nicki Arnold told me to be more advice-y because peop...
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Oh Baby, Just One More Time

March 5, 2009 by Staff

It's been a long time and I really need to get some. I'm dying for some action! I need it two more times before we go off to Spring Break. I'm not embarrassed to admit it's been over three months sinc...
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Into the Desert

March 5, 2009 by Derek Mead

The U.S. as a whole, and California specifically, is so culturally blended that finding a singular identity for us is nigh impossible. However, as Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns and the ridiculous ...
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GIANT PENIS

March 5, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

Did anyone else notice the blood bus by the arbor today? Not too unusual on its own, I know. But I did care for its juxtaposition next to the girl dressed up as a giant vagina across the way.
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Whisk Away to Quaint Solvang for a Break from I.V. Life

March 5, 2009 by Jimmy Fremgen

On Saturday I went back in time and across the world by traveling about 30 minutes into the hills to a little Danish village called Solvang. I was fascinated with the quaintness of a town styled after...
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Survive Your Sexual Drought

March 4, 2009 by Jenni Perez

It’s almost that time of year, Gauchos. The clouds part, the cerulean sky smiles and shirtless skateboarders run down campus pedestrians with a little extra rigor in their roll. Springtime is ne...
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Fro-Yo Honey Some Love

March 4, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

So fellas, it's past midnight on a random weekday, and you and your lady friend are jonesing for some delicious sweets. Maybe you've got the munchies... or the drunchies. I won't judge.
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Sasha Grey Speaks Out

March 4, 2009 by Staff

Editor’s Note: This letter was submitted to us by Sasha Grey, the porn star and soon-to-be lead actress in Steven Soderbergh’s newest film, “The Girlfriend Experience.” Having ...
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There’s a Science to Buy-ology

March 4, 2009 by Henrietta Forsyth

What made me grab coffee at Starbucks over Java Jones in I.V.? Why did I spend so much money on a top at Abercrombie & Fitch on State Street when exactly the same item was cheaper next door? What...
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Get to Know Your EOPs

March 4, 2009 by Nicolas Collier

Do you know what EOP is? Have you heard about one of the best programs on the UCSB campus? EOP stands for, “Educational Opportunity Program” and has been helping thousands of students maxi...
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The Pardall Fence Story

March 3, 2009 by Staff

Things haven’t always been so easy for a fence. Before the landmark case of Fence v. the State of California back in 1997 – most people forget about this because “Titanic” was ...
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Power Commercials Melt Brains

March 3, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

Do you ever feel like your intelligence is constantly under assault?
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Vaginas Have Stories to Tell

March 3, 2009 by Sarah Watkins

When Eve Ensler was writing her award-winning play, The Vagina Monologues, she interviewed over 200 women from diverse backgrounds. These interviews began with two simple questions: “If your vag...
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Craigslisters

March 2, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

You: the moderately pathetic college student browsing Craigslist's "missed connections," hoping in vain for a complete stranger's affection to validate your meaningless existence.
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