Opinion

January 29, 2009

On the Subject of Beer Blankets

By Derek Mead

I've been freezing my ass off for the last three months. Sure, the last mini heat wave got me back into swapping my pants for tall boys of St. Ides, but now that Taaka-induced sleeve ripping leaves me feeling as chilly a...

January 29, 2009

Still Poor, Just Poorer

By Staff

Weekend Forecast: Fuckin’ corrections stealing my space… So how ’bout them Superbowl ads? I took one out for all the money I make in the Nexus. Be on the lookout for my .03 seconds of fame.

January 29, 2009

Flutter By Ellwood Preserve

By Jimmy Fremgen

Butterflies. Not exactly what people think of when they think of Goleta. The average person is more likely to picture the beer-swilling, good looking, brilliantly scholastic UCSB student. In spite of this, the two specie...

January 29, 2009

Congress

By Simon Estrada

January 28, 2009

Fake Orgasms Facilitate No Fun

By Jenni Perez

The other day, I cuddled up to my favorite naked bed buddy and tapped into the Web’s fine array of pornographic cinema. We were curious about the jaw-dropper that everyone’s been buzzing about. Sasha Grey is ...

January 28, 2009

Walk It or Ticket

By Staff

Let’s play a game called “What is the IVFP wasting their time on today?” There are a bunch of potential valid answers to the question of course, but one is particularly prevalent today: skateboard ticke...

January 28, 2009

Society: Quit Ignoring Rape

By Kyle Stewart

Rape is a taboo subject in our society. Many people don’t want to even acknowledge the existence of rape and how disgustingly frequently it occurs. Ignorance is bliss, right? The word “rape” has somehow...

January 27, 2009

The Tower of Weather

By Staff

As UCSB students, we come to accept certain facts of life. For instance, Storke Tower is an eyesore. Try denying that. Also, if you live in I.V. you’re bound to get a copy of the yellow pages every year despite nev...

January 27, 2009

Free Speech and Booze Don’t Mix

By Dylan James

It is the curse of the humour columnist (a title which I can now claim in this inaugural column of mine, although I shy away from the term "writer" since it carries connotations of far greater tact) that, just because on...

January 27, 2009

A Waterproofed Isla Vista Palooza

By Zach Cowan

In the static bliss of perpetual blue skies, skimpy clothing, ever-flowing effervescent natty ice and sunsets that lend themselves to postcards and dreams from the landlocked, it becomes natural to take paradise for gran...

January 26, 2009

The Paper Is Mightier Than the Sword

By Staff

Did you know that there are still a large number of Americans who don’t believe in evolution, and instead embrace creationism? Of course you did, but you probably think that’s a bad thing because you’re...

January 26, 2009

Obama Must Expose Politicians

By Shaeffer Bannigan

Upon being elected America's forty-fourth President, Barack Obama addressed the people of America with graciousness and humility. From a historic standpoint, he has become an icon of American civil rights; from a politic...

January 26, 2009

An Open Letter to the Newly Elected President

By Aharon Morris

President Obama, I have to admit that sounds good to say out loud. I was moved to tears when you won both the primary and general elections. I actually met you and have pictures of a hug you gave me at an appearance you...

January 23, 2009

Own Your Creepiness

By Anonymous

As a first-year student at UCSB, I am discovering so many wonderful things about myself. The most important of those is that I'm a really creepy girl.

January 22, 2009

Hike Up SB’s Seven Falls

By Jimmy Fremgen

The Santa Ynez mountains above Santa Barbara mean several different things to people. They stand for wealth, for the massive homes that peer over our fair city and out to the ocean. They stand as a constant reminder of d...

January 22, 2009

No Sex

By Staff

Why must you have really loud sex in the apartment right next to mine? I mean, I know sometimes you have to let loose and go all primal and stuff but seriously – have a little courtesy. Not only are you keeping me ...