Let’s play a game called “What is the IVFP wasting their time on today?” There are a bunch of potential valid answers to the question of course, but one is particularly prevalent today: skateboard tickets. Seems that the boys in beige have been using their manpower to keep skateboarders out of the Pardall tunnel, and those who don’t comply are being issued a $35 ticket. Now $35 dollars isn’t awful — but here’s the kicker: for skateboarding through the Pardall Tunnel you have to attend Bike Safety school. I kid you not. Fuckin’ brilliant.

Tomorrow’s forecast: The IVFP finds something useful to do. Also, it rains delicious skittles from the sky and the rivers flow freely with booze.