Opinion
Hello, reader. I gotta say, our relationship is going great. I write my advice column, you pick up the paper and read it - it's perfect. Almost. I say almost because it's been feeling a little one-sid...
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Due to a grossly incompetent, underweight, allegedly male opinion editor who shall remain nameless, today's weather comes to us from the past. Like, yesterday.
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Let’s face it folks, the economy has been suffering for months, and all indications of the future portend much of the same. The Big Three automakers are dying at a continually hastened pace, the...
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THE EVPSA is our statewide representative, and likely one of the main individuals the UC Regents will associate with UCSB. The EVPSA should exude professionalism and must be able to represent students...
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OF ALL the candidates for all the positions, this was the most qualified set of people we talked to. We’d like to see Clay Carlson, Ashley Day and Hazel Putney stick around A.S. because all of t...
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THE STUDENT Advocate General is essentially a lawyer for students when it comes to university-related issues like cheating, plagiarism, infractions that take place in the dorms, etc. This person has t...
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THE INTERNAL Vice President has to be the nerd of A.S. The IVP runs Legislative Council meetings and has to know Roberts’ Rules of Order like the back of his hand. The president needs to be able...
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At approximately 3:30 p.m., I was asked by Gary, the man sitting in the seat behind me, to pull the yellow handle that connected our 650-pound glider to the tow plane in front of us. My heart skipped ...
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THREE PEOPLE came in to our office with plans. Only one made sense. The A.S. president is the face of the entire association. The president is the person freshmen first see when they come to campus an...
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What do you do when the missionary position becomes an old piece of chewing gum? You could toss it and chomp on a new position – but really, you’ve been bent and folded in so many ways, Ci...
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Due to imaginative and budgetary constraints, today's weather comes to us from the past.
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Yesterday, Fight Night — one of the biggest annual charities held on campus — was found dead. Police suspect that ignorance on part of the Office of Greek Affairs is to blame. The Fight Ni...
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Next week, we're going to ask you to do something we never thought we would have to do. It's something we haven't asked of the student body in general since the 1970s. We definitely cringe at having t...
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Do you think I'd run for mayor if I'd strangled, punched or choked a woman?
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“Greased Lightnin’” from “Grease”
Sunset waltz from “La La Land”
“Thriller” by Michael Jackson
Frat flick
“Macarena” by Los Del Río
“Gangnam Style” by PSY
“Swan Lake” by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Renegade
“Cell Block Tango” from “Chicago”
“The Last Text” from “Dance Moms”
Flossing
All of “Hamilton”
