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Just for Fun

February 7, 2019 by


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Lunar Eclipse Causes Unexpected Menstrual Synchronization Throughout UCSB Sororities

February 7, 2019 by

At approximately 9:12 p.m. on Jan. 20, the Earth, for reasons unknown, decided to split its solar and lunar counterparts. Despite similar occurrences in the past, this particular lunar eclipse had an ...
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Sorority Sally: I Would Die For My Train Conductor Hat

February 6, 2019 by

TOOT! TOOT! It’s me again, bitches. I’m ~back again~ to defend my currently IN STYLE fisherman hat a.k.a. the train conductor.
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Fyre Festival: Isla Vista Dayger Edition

February 4, 2019 by

In light of the recent Fyre Festival documentaries produced by Hulu and Netflix, many concerned UCSB students have come forward to highlight similarities over the failed festival and a recent Isla Vis...
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In Photos | The Morning After The Storm

February 2, 2019 by

Nexus photographers and reporters reported fallen trees all over campus and in I.V.
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In Photos: Dreamville’s J.I.D

February 1, 2019 by

On January 30, less than one week after Bas’s performance at Velvet Jones, Santa Barbara became home to another Dreamville artist, J.I.D. Thanks to AS Program Board, UCSB students & Santa Ba...
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Everybody on the Fourth Floor of Davidson Should Just Fuck Each Other Already

February 1, 2019 by

Everyone is aware of the diverse personalities that make up the eight floors of the slightly uncomfy Davidson Library: the all-inclusive first floor, the scholars of fifth, the antisocial sociopaths o...
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From Father: A Response to My Unwed Daughter

February 1, 2019 by

Beloved Daughter, It was with great concern and consternation that Mother and I met the distressing news of your being unable to find a husband whilst at university.
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Dazed and Confused: Local I.V. Woman Not Sure What To Do After Phone Dies During Sunset

January 31, 2019 by

Around 5:30 p.m. Saturday evening, tragedy struck the shores of Sands as local I.V. woman Margaret Rogers’s phone battery dropped dangerously low during the most ‘gramable sunset of the year. Just...
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Ask Chad: Chad Simpleton Gives Life Advice

January 31, 2019 by

What’s up demons, it’s ya boy Chad. Last we spoke, I was getting ready for some winter frat rushes and — big spoiler alert — I crushed it and was too cool for every single house. Literally nob...
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Class Know-It-All Won’t Let You Enjoy Things

January 31, 2019 by

Rude! Margaret Paige Claire Allen, first year pre-med major, has been reported by multiple students to Associated Students (A.S.) Judicial Affairs for being a class-know-it-all. While UCSB prides itse...
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In Photos: Dreamville’s Bas

January 27, 2019 by

This past Friday, Dreamville's very own Bas threw down a soulful, passionate, and electrifying show at Santa Barbara’s Velvet Jones, courtesy of ENT Legends.
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Plan To Leave Pregame with Friends for Party with Strangers and Terrible Music Still Good with Everyone

January 25, 2019 by

While enjoying a fun gathering of drinks, friendly faces and favorite tunes, everyone was still completely on board for leaving to go to a house party with sex-crazed belligerents and the world’s wo...
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Why Bus Rides Are My Favorite Part of UCSB Culture

January 24, 2019 by

Sure, UCSB has a lot of great features — the beach, our revered chancellor, that oatmeal they sometimes serve at Portola — but my favorite thing is the bus. There is nothing I love more than stand...
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Dear Father, The Search for a Husband is Fruitless

January 23, 2019 by

Dearest Father, It is with utter chagrin and sorrow that I must report back such tragic news. I write this letter to you during Winter Quarter of my third (3rd!) year of university and I have yet to f...
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