Beth Van Dyke

January 22, 2003

No Matter How Old You Are, No Still Means No

By Beth Van Dyke

I must have a sign on my forehead that reads, "Please sexually harass me if you are over 40 and you love to go to 634 on college night. I'm desperate."

January 15, 2003

Is That a Pole in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

By Beth Van Dyke

I was watching the movie "Striptease" over break and I realized two things immediately: a) "Why the hell am I watching this?" and b) "Wow, I've always wanted to twirl around on a pole like that."

January 8, 2003

For Some, There Is Beauty in the Beast

By Beth Van Dyke

"Man, I need to get laid." Walking down DP on a Saturday night, this might be a typical comment for a frat boy. However, when driving your somewhat neurotic frat brother back to Berkeley in the middle of the night with o...

December 5, 2002

The Wednesday Thursday Hump: Not Quite Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover

By Beth Van Dyke

Breaking up is a typical Fall Quarter event. And the best part is, it always tends to happen a few days before you plan to study for finals. Breaking up is also an art - not a thing most people recognize.

November 26, 2002

This Thanksgiving, Remember: Be Thankful for Hairy Heinies

By Beth Van Dyke

Thanksgiving marks the return of home and everything familiar that comes along with home. Including your ex.

November 20, 2002

Language of Love Comes With Accents

By Beth Van Dyke

Apparently, sex columns have been invading college newspapers all over the country. Little Carrie Bradshaw and Sex and the City fans are infiltrating good news space.

November 13, 2002

I Hate You, So Take Your Pants Off

By Beth Van Dyke

And nothing is better than a little make-up sex. Breaking up is hard to do, but the sex afterwards usually makes it worthwhile.

November 5, 2002

Keep Your Orifices Open

By Beth Van Dyke

There is a sad truth to life around here: Despite being in one of the most open sexual times in history, we are still horribly sexually repressed.

October 30, 2002

These Tasty Oral Tips Come Straight From the Horse’s Mouth

By Beth Van Dyke

An Isla Vista Halloween brings out the Britney in every girl who would otherwise dress no sexier than a pencil case. It can bring the 6-foot-tall bong out in every male daydreamer. It is a time of mystery and magic.

October 23, 2002

Follow These Few Oral Truths on Your Way to a Satisfying Burrito

By Beth Van Dyke

Oral sex is something most women long for but are often deprived of. It seems in these sad and scary times that many men think lickin' some box is demeaning and not something to be proud of.

October 16, 2002

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream – Just Not in My Room

By Beth Van Dyke

We've all had them. Those bastard roommates who just plain don't give a shit if you are so close to them you can smell the alcohol on their breath as they are screwing the vagina off someone.

October 9, 2002

When He Can’t Do the Job, Call Your Battery-Powered Friend

By Beth Van Dyke

Why is it so difficult for girls to have orgasms? Why is that men seem to be able to find pleasure in any light stimulation whatsoever? It has to be one of the most common questions asked of women in the world.

October 2, 2002

Use Water-Based Lubrication to Ease the Bump, Grind and Slide

By Beth Van Dyke

Let me give you freshmen a little something to contemplate about before going to town on your first anal adventure: Getting it up the pooper sucks without the proper lubrication.

May 21, 2002

UCs Collaborate on Survey to Examine Students’ Experiences

By Beth Van Dyke

The University of California has received approximately 17,000 responses from students participating in a survey that could potentially impact future undergraduate education and is the first general survey and largest we...

April 15, 2002

$45 a Year Keeps Student Health’s Doctors Near

By Beth Van Dyke

This Spring, Student Health is asking for a $3 increase to the undergraduate lock-in fee, bringing the total amount to $15. Student Health has not received a lock-in fee increase in over a decade.

February 15, 2002

Residential Services Expects Shortage

By Beth Van Dyke

Continuing undergraduate students who want to live in university-owned housing have a lot of competition this year. Housing is extremely limited for continuing students and is only available by a lottery.