Any class before 10 a.m. is bound to be a pointless exercise in education. You aren’t listening to a damn thing the professor is saying, at least most of the time. You do crosswords, you think about how much your roommate smells or what flavor of coffee you’re gonna buy at Nicoletti’s. If you’re in a relationship, you’re either thinking about how wonderful that person is or how you’d like to run him or her over with a tractor.
If you’re a certified Love Kitten, you’re thinking about sex. Even if you’d like to run him or her over with a tractor.
I’m talking about the reunion of two bodies that were once separated by oceans of anger and hostility and now must be reunited by a monsoon of lust.
And nothing is better than a little make-up sex. Breaking up is hard to do, but the sex afterwards usually makes it worthwhile.
I don’t think its weird to have completely uninhibited sex after a long, arduous argument. In fact, it’s the way I prefer to resolve conflict with a significant other. Some people – I like to call them Anal Androids – think this is a completely dysfunctional way to alleviate anger. Whoever is telling you this crap is either a marriage counselor or a member of the Moral Majority.
I think a little leftover anger adds spice to sex. But then again, I’m a spicy gal. The line between anger and sexual excitement can be easily blurred and can easily be misunderstood. In other words, there are some times when getting it on to close out an argument is okay and other times when it’s a bad idea. If you just shagged his or her best friend, I wouldn’t try anything.
Sexy is when a man is ballsy enough to try and jump your bones after a yelling match. He’s even more of a baller if he keeps at it. Because lets face it, if a woman is pissed, it’s going to take a lot to calm her down. One way to calm the tides of frustration is to prove just how sexy you think she is.
In all honesty, I’d probably slap a guy who tries to get freaky while I’m pissed. But if he keeps trying after I slap him, well then it’s almost kinky foreplay. If you’re the man in this situation, then try and be as Rico Suave as you can and ask her if it made her feel better – what woman would say no? Tell her that she can slap away because you’re there to please her and satisfy her every need – regardless of whose fault it is.
And take it like a man. Let her get her anger out – just not all of it. Once she’s done fuming, go for it with full force. Hold her face in your hands firmly and kiss her like she’s the Queen of Sexy. Because there isn’t anything sexier than a chick who’s pissed and turned on at the same time. This will get us so damn frustrated, we won’t know whether to kick your face or drop our panties.
I say give up and drop the panties. Love, not hate, right? And I love aggressive sex. Now, I know there is some prick who’s reading this thinking, “GREAT! Now I can smack that bitch around like an inflatable doll!” And no asshole, that’s not what I’m talking about. (That guy deserves to be run over by a tractor.) I’m saying that a tight grip around my hips right before a little headboard-knockin’ is hot. A passionate kiss is thrilling. Letting your girl know you want her right now will almost never let you down – as long as she’s into aggressive sex.
So go ahead, start an argument today. Why not? Sometimes starting a fight on purpose to have a little make-up sex at the end is just what a relationship might need to take nice to spice.
So come on big boy, make me sorry.
Daily Nexus sex columnist Beth Van Dyke may be a sex kitten, but she fights like a lusty tiger.