The Long Hump Goodnight
I've thought of everything and consequently nothing to write for my last column. I'm supposed to impress you. But then it occurred to me, I don't really have to impress you.
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I've thought of everything and consequently nothing to write for my last column. I'm supposed to impress you. But then it occurred to me, I don't really have to impress you.
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I love being a woman because I love being in control. And we are (almost) always in control of all our sexual functions.
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As a diehard Sacramento Kings fan, I'm tired of saying it's going to be this year, this is our year, and we're going all the way. No matter what, it always seems like we come up short.
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Sex is great. However there is this odd post-coital period that continually traumatizes me. It can be traumatizing in two ways: with a condom and without one.
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Every girl has a lackey at least once in her life. When you first met him, you get the same epiphany that the guy who invented caller I.D. did. But then the bastard went ahead and blocked his number t...
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I've definitely made out with girls. I was about 13 when my older brother Scott related to me over a car wash that he called his boyfriend "Pookie" on occasion.
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It's Monday morning and you're running to Campbell Hall from Snidecor. You woke up an hour later than you planned, which means that you didn't have time to take a shower. The only makeup you're wearin...
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I live with a gorilla. No, really. A hairy, loud, monkey-butt gorilla. He's my male genome project, my dirty sex maniac and my boy roommate. He's endearing, inebriated and completely incapable of clea...
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I love to watch men play sports. I'll watch any sport. Really, I'm not picky. The cute little uniforms, tight shorts, muscle flexing, field frustration and men, sweating it out for my viewing pleasure...
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It is the female equivalent to limp dick. People refuse to discuss it. But being the disgustingly frank love kitten I am, I wanted the truth to be told. Can't hold my cunt trumpet down.
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My roommate decided to go celebrate Mardi Gras this last weekend in New Orleans. Admittedly, my only real experience with the celebration is limited to "Girls Gone Wild" videos taped on Bourbon Street...
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Cornfed is beyond hope, forever past the point of naughty. When girls think of turning him on, they think of teddies - not the lingerie, the bear.
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Testicles. Tea bag. Penis Pillow. The Juice Crew. Nuggets. Rocky Mountain Oysters. Fluid Friends. We girls can easily forget how much attention we should be paying to them, but believe me, the man nev...
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I was sitting outside the Arbor next to the Penis Registration guys, spying on a girl who had an admirable glare going at someone. I looked over to see who the recipient was, and I saw a young man
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It was just a regular Saturday night. She got off work late and got the usual phone call from her friends partying in I.V. She decided to join them; she really needed a drink. The guy she liked had be...
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