A. Wiessass

A. Wiessass is a UCSB undergrad who likes to keep to himself. He lives deep in the Santa Ynez Mountains at the site of the mountain parties. He leaves his compound very rarely, only to write satire and to stock up on fruit gummies and vape juice. If you wish to contact A. Wiessass, howl at the moon and wait for it to howl back.

February 6, 2020

Britain Leaves EU, Joins Channel Islands

By A. Wiessass

Concluding this chapter of British history last week, the UK has officially left the European Union. However, in a surprising turn of events, the island nation opted to join a different coalition: the Channel Islands. Th...

February 1, 2020

Mint Juul Pods Are Out, Here’s What We’re Vaping Now

By A. Wiessass

With the changing of the year, we had to bid farewell to a beloved staple of Isla Vistan life: flavored vape pods. We at the Nexus are taking this departure especially hard, but fear not! I am here to guide you through a...

January 20, 2020

Dusty to Damp: A Girvetz Story

By A. Wiessass

She was never the hall that caught your eye. She was a mousy little hall that perpetually had a layer of dust across her face. She had spirit, but it was hard to see for she hid it in her dingy little bathrooms. After ye...

January 9, 2020

Top Five Gaucho Resolutions

By A. Wiessass

As the waters of 2019 evaporated to the relentless winds of time, many Gauchos saw themselves reflected in the puddles left behind and resolved to better themselves as they waded into the currents of 2020. Nexustentialis...

October 31, 2019

Time Traveler Mistakes Halloween Locked-Down IV for Vintage Dystopian Novel

By A. Wiessass

The realities of modern I.V. Halloween conditions drew sharp criticism this week when a temporally displaced traveler drew a comparison between late October Isla Vista and the dystopian world imagined in Orwell’...

October 8, 2019

Best and Worst Majors by Smell

By A. Wiessass

We have all had the experience of sitting next to someone in a lecture hall and being assaulted by the smell of your neighbor. While I firmly believe that anyone can stink or smell incredible, here are some genera...

July 8, 2019

What Your Backpack Says About You

By A. Wiessass

A little known fact about college is that it’s actually just like high school, if you can’t get in with the cool kids, you may as well be out. As the social hierarchy of our fine university relies heavily on t...

May 31, 2019

Ortega Chef Regains Sense of Taste After 20 Long Years

By A. Wiessass

In an email from UCSB Housing, Dining & Auxiliary Enterprises, it was announced that the head chef and meal planner for Ortega Dining Commons has regained his sense of taste after 20 years of being bereft of it.