DAVIDSON LIBRARY — Reports have surfaced that the long-dormant eldritch monster residing under Davidson Library has grown restless due to a burgeoning hunger that can no longer be sated by our measl...
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Concluding this chapter of British history last week, the UK has officially left the European Union. However, in a surprising turn of events, the island nation opted to join a different coalition: the...
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With the changing of the year, we had to bid farewell to a beloved staple of Isla Vistan life: flavored vape pods. We at the Nexus are taking this departure especially hard, but fear not! I am here to...
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She was never the hall that caught your eye. She was a mousy little hall that perpetually had a layer of dust across her face. She had spirit, but it was hard to see for she hid it in her dingy little...
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As the waters of 2019 evaporated to the relentless winds of time, many Gauchos saw themselves reflected in the puddles left behind and resolved to better themselves as they waded into the currents of ...
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The realities of modern I.V. Halloween conditions drew sharp criticism this week when a temporally displaced traveler drew a comparison between late October Isla Vista and the dystopian world i...
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We have all had the experience of sitting next to someone in a lecture hall and being assaulted by the smell of your neighbor. While I firmly believe that anyone can stink or smell incredible, ...
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A little known fact about college is that it’s actually just like high school, if you can’t get in with the cool kids, you may as well be out. As the social hierarchy of our fine university...
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In an email from UCSB Housing, Dining & Auxiliary Enterprises, it was announced that the head chef and meal planner for Ortega Dining Commons has regained his sense of taste after 20 years of being be...
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Ends on ‘good terms’ but is blocked on Instagram
Slow fade
Ghosting them on a random Monday
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Drunk Uber “we need to talk” voice memo
Presents a notes app pros and cons list
Asks to still be friends
Drops their stuff off, never speaks to them again
Texts “this isn’t working” then posts from another country
“It’s not me, it’s you”
Tells them they need to focus on Econ 10A
Delivers a hand-written letter to their mom
