Weather

(No Ducks Were Actually Harmed)

March 8, 2002 by

The ducks seem more nervous in I.V. These ducks seem to sense a preditorial threat.
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Liquid Death From the Heavens

March 7, 2002 by

It rained today, confusing many, and wetting everyone. Rain is mothernature's assassin.
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Reunited

March 6, 2002 by

Nothing like the occasional encounter with an old Res Hall neighbor to make one feel old and insensitive. People who were your best friends.
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Pilot to Bombardier

March 4, 2002 by

I have seen many pets accompany their owners on campus: dogs, cats, ferrets and the occasional iguana. All of these animals have one thing in common: They are easily tethered to one's wrist and have b...
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Weather: Political Tool

March 4, 2002 by

Today you must do your patriotic duty and vote candidates into political offices you vaguely understand.
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No Veggie Burgers

March 1, 2002 by

Rich people have the best parties. Sometimes they need help, though, which is where we come in. This Saturday, the Daily Nexus is pleased to announce the first annual Billionaire Beach Blanket Babylon...
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R.I.P.

February 28, 2002 by

Here lies the family of dead skunks off of Los Carneros. While your time was short, your smell will always be with us.
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Open Door Policy

February 27, 2002 by

For as long as I've lived in the weathercave, the weatherportal has been uppity. In cold weather it blows open; in warm weather it swells and warps, making it hard to close and impossible to lock.
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Here Comes the Sun

February 26, 2002 by

There is a mathematical equation that defines laundry output in Isla Vista. The more sun = less clothing worn.
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Weather: Career Day

February 22, 2002 by

There comes a time in one
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Guinea Pig Heart

February 21, 2002 by

The weatherpet has dark secrets.
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Fortune Hunter

February 20, 2002 by

There is buried treasure under Los Carneros. That is why road crews keep digging up sections of the street only to inexpertly patch the holes.
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Golden Whining

February 19, 2002 by

As I sat on my couch and knocked back another beer, I realized that I would never compete in the two-man luge.
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Gratefully Guzzling

February 15, 2002 by

I liken Valentine's Day to a pinkened skin rash. Cheesy candy, plastic flowers, pathetically hollow cards, bad commercials, a blinding overflow of pink and red, and way too much PDA (public displays o...
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Weather Dating Game

February 14, 2002 by

The weathermates have attributed the weatherpet's ill temper to lack of companionship. I have decided to wield my three inches of power to make a small mammal love connection and find him a special la...
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