The weatherpet has dark secrets.
In his former life, the weatherpet was a pitfigher. Matches were staged in abandoned industrial sinks and zoo parking lots. Under the name “The Macho Guinea Pig Randy Cabbage” he would fight other Guinea Pigs, Chinchillas and up to a dozen dwarf hamsters for money, to the delight of underworld betting rings.
Thursday’s Forecast: It’s as believable as the plots on WWF, he’s not much shorter than Jean Claude Van Damme.
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“dusty rusty crusty musty ass california hills”
“frowning in plaid (haunted radios, bird bones + anthropomorphized wind)”
“warming my hands on bridges i’ve burnt”
“songs that make me see god”
“My Playlist #236”
“classy wine moment and intellectual conversation”
“90s heroin chic model off duty”
“tweet tweet bird emoji map emoji”
“not my circus, not my monkeys”
“a grave is probably cheaper than an apartment”
“ATE THESE BITCHES LEFT NO CRUMBS / DID IT IN DESIGNER PUMPS”
