I have seen many pets accompany their owners on campus: dogs, cats, ferrets and the occasional iguana. All of these animals have one thing in common: They are easily tethered to one’s wrist and have bowel control. They either poop on command or poop so infrequently that it is not an issue (the iguana). Friday I saw a bird lashed to a young woman’s wrist. I can only think of one reason to keep such a creature.

Monday’s Forecast: White warm vengeance from the personal defense device.