For as long as I’ve lived in the weathercave, the weatherportal has been uppity.

In cold weather it blows open; in warm weather it swells and warps, making it hard to close and impossible to lock. It is hardly a security device, making the weatherpet’s agile senses more important than ever. I dare any thief to trespass upon my kitchen without the piercing shrieks of certain death.

Wednesday’s Forecast: We keep him lean and hungry.