Weather

December 5, 2002

Teach Your Children Well

By Staff

Taking finals at a research university means being tested on a lot of crap that your professor never got around to teaching. God, I love college.

November 26, 2002

And Not a Soul in Sight

By Staff

It's like the campus that feared sundown. If you're reading this, you're a more dedicated student than the Weatherhuman, who has fled class for his Weatherhome for Weatherturkey with all the Weatherfixings.

November 26, 2002

Gobble Gobble, Baby

By Staff

The Weatherhuman was going to indulge his/her creativity in a pre-Thanksgiving haiku but forgot how many syllables go where. Funny how Googling "haiku" gets erotic haiku in just a few clicks.

November 25, 2002

And Another Bird, And Another Bird

By Staff

The phrase 'To kill two birds with one stone' haunted me all weekend. Has anyone ever seen anybody kill one bird with one stone?

November 22, 2002

How to Write a Term Paper

By Staff

It's the weekend before Thanksgiving, a time for peace, unity and big-ass term papers. At one time or another, everyone has written a three-page term paper that needed to be a five-page term paper or vice-versa.

November 21, 2002

Countdown

By Staff

There are two long-held Thanksgiving traditions in college. The first of these is the well-known Turkey Drop, in which all of our beloved freshmen run home to their high school sweethearts and promptly dump their asses.

November 20, 2002

The Hot Zone

By Staff

There has been a green wall surrounding the San Rafael dorm for the entire quarter. No one seems to know why. I do have a few theories, though.

November 19, 2002

The Pepsi Challenge

By Staff

Nothing revives my sense of wonder like a trip to Albertson's. For instance, the sausage that says "Made with Beef," is rather intriguing. Although I wouldn't stop and think about it for too long if I were you.

November 18, 2002

Take Out the Papers and the Trash

By Staff

The weathercave is in the midst of a trashcan cold war. It began with everyone waiting to see who would take it out first.

November 15, 2002

TOP SCORE!

By Staff

Nothing chaps my ass like the phrase "mandatory attendance." Especially when your section is at 8 a.m. on a Friday and the TA is discussing library skills.

November 14, 2002

Where Have All the Mondays Gone?

By Staff

Veterans Day weekend is deceptive. Oh, sure it seems nice at first - you get an extra day off. But it amounts to 24-hour jet lag.

November 13, 2002

Late Night

By Staff

No, I didn't go home this weekend. Instead, I reveled in my boredom and watched an unfortunate amount of television with my housemates.

November 12, 2002

High Tide

By Staff

Anyone who enters the ocean after a nasty rainfall seems to develop a lot of strange symptoms - red, bloodshot eyes, feelings of nausea and general light-headedness.

November 8, 2002

The Race

By Staff

At its best, the Storke Plaza reflecting pool is filled with sparkling water and seagull feces. At its worst, it is a dry, dismal bed of concrete and seagull feces, drained heartlessly by maintenance crews.

November 7, 2002