I made the traditional pilgrimage to Costco the other day. I noticed for the first time, with great amusement, that there is a Costco optometrist.

Suddenly it dawned on me amid the frozen tamales and the enormous bottles of ketchup, the answer to all the nation’s health care problems: The Costco health plan.

The sicker you are, the more you save. Why get two stitches when you can get five for the same price?

But don’t try and have a kidney removed. The two-for-one deal might kill you.

Thursday’s forecast: frozen burritos and a brighter future.