Opinion

November 21, 2001

Foot Patrol Doesn’t Deserve the Flack that People Give It

By Tara Minassian

"Fucking Pigs" and the like are the words screamed from various parties on DP as the cops walk down the street. How do they react? They laugh it off.

November 21, 2001

Show a Little Consideration When You Park Your Automobile

By Rachael Prewett

We've all seen what a bitch it is to park in I.V. I know it's horribly difficult for the car-dependent to drive up and down the street looking for a legal parking space.

November 20, 2001

WeatherDefiniton

By Staff

The Turkey Drop noun. 1 the cutting of one's losses in mid-November.

November 20, 2001

A.S. It Is: The SAT Flunks Out When it Comes to Diversity

By Eneri Rodriguez

The SAT I has been proven to be culturally biased; its ability to predict the success of a college student is almost insignificant.

November 20, 2001

Living Without Vowels: Meet the New Boss in Afghanistan, Same as the Old Boss

By Steven Ruszczycky

The Northern Alliance isn't your typical Boy Scout troup either. Their treatment of women hasn't been much better than that of the Taliban. Also, they've been devouring the care packages dropped by American planes.

November 19, 2001

Life With Father

By Staff

The weatherfather instilled valuable advice via fear. To prevent the weatherchildren from swimming in the lake he described amoebas. Amoebas, as I understood them, were amorphous carnivorous demons from the bottom of pea...

November 19, 2001

Red Tape: That Kind of Muzak Don’t Soothe the Soul

By Josh Braun

Try as I might, I couldn't place it. Then without warning, it happened. The orchestra on the PA system began playing Simon & Garfunkel's "Sounds of Silence."

November 19, 2001

We Need to Stop Encouraging the ‘Women as Objects’ Mentality

By Diana Ray

Maybe if the small portion of our population that has brought so much physical and mental anguish to such a wide audience had imagined their acts being brought upon someone close to them, they would have thought twice be...

November 16, 2001

Print of the Great Pumpkin

By Staff

So I have a pumpkin.An eighty-plus pound pumpkin.As giant pumpkins go, I’m told it’s a small one.The pumpkin is sitting in the middle of my living room, but really, the rest of the living room is sitting arou...

November 16, 2001

Chicks on the Beach

By Staff

Caring for one of Isla Vista's natural treasures is too important a task to be undertaken without I.V.'s help.

November 16, 2001

Red Tape: NASA’s New Administrator Could Create a Black Hole of Despair

By Josh Braun

NASA's latest expedition is to hell -- in a hand basket.

November 15, 2001

Both Taliban, Alliance Mean Cruelty in Afghanistan

By Mary Jones

The Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan, is doing everything it can to remind the world that Afghan women must play a major part in leading their country to peace and democracy.

November 15, 2001

Don’t Take the Toothless Hamp-ster Seriously

By Brendan Buhler

Q: How much wood would Associated Students President Brian Hampton chuck if Associated Students President Brian Hampton could chuck wood?

November 14, 2001

Right Through the Very Heart of It, New York Came Through

By Henry Sarria

I must admit that I was never too keen on New York. To me it was an overcrowded freak show with high rents and a high crime rate to boot. There was never any reason for me to even as much as think of New York.

November 14, 2001

Like butta’, baby! Butta’!

By Staff

The skateboarders of Isla Vista officially thank the county for its long-overdue road work.

November 14, 2001

The Lown Down: Audit This, California: UC Education System Reeks of Pus

By David Downs

The Fall Quarter "No Duh!" Award - in the category of "It's About Fucking Time" - goes to State Assemblymember Jenny Oropeza for her brilliant public realization that the UC system is a throbbing, hairy, sucking, 70-poun...