Opinion
Hi. My name is Alex Benowitz-Fredericks, and I am mean to freshmen. The basic excuse here is one of basic pecking-order cruelty. But that's just an excuse.
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Despite 50 years of destruction and persecution that have claimed 1.2 million lives and totaled 6000 holy monasteries, the Tibetans still have an undying light in their eyes.
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Welcome back, everyone. I would especially like to take this opportunity to welcome all of this year's freshmen to Manzanita Village.
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When I arrived in Siena this June, I spoke barely a word of Italian and knew virtually nothing about the place I had chosen to spend my summer.
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I was all set to write an informative column this week, when at the last minute someone stole my idea for the staff editorial (See upper left). Bastards.
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There seem to be three broad categories of signs: the vitally important, the theoretically useful and the utterly useless.
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The Opinion page is a hungry beast, and without you, it would be nothing. It dwells here in the middle of the Daily Nexus, five days a week, ranging from an anorexic to a plump four-page spread.
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I am the Weatherhuman - a faceless, genderless entity whose job it is to defend the populace, or at least make them laugh until it doesn't hurt anymore.
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Of all the transfers I have made in Santa Barbara, such as transferring a 12-pack of Natural Ice from the liquor store to my stomach, or transferring myself to the beach, the transfer from SBCC to the...
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I've worked summer Orientation for the past two years, and I could bet my paltry paycheck on the fact that a good number - if not the majority - of freshmen made their way down to I.V. at night to sne...
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Now, we don't know about you, but here at the Nexus we prefer our fish kippered, so here's the official Life in the Dorms Drinking Game.
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When I learned about the College of Creative Studies, where autonomy abounds and no one will tell you what do even if you ask them, I knew it was going to be just what I needed.
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
