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Laundry Merry-Go-Round

May 14, 2002 by Staff

My crotch is damp right now. Yesterday, I spent $8.75 of the froggypopfund to entertain my clothes at the Laundry Fun Center (“the laundromat” to the fucking idiot). I poured in some deter...
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Hot Time in the Ol’ County

May 14, 2002 by John Scherrei

At a recent meeting of the Fire Chief's Association of Santa Barbara County, chiefs from several agencies and departments discussed the upcoming fire season and what we might expect.
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Living Without Vowels: Same-sex Schools Are Sure to Save Society

May 14, 2002 by Steven Ruszczycky

Thankfully, our good, born-again Christian President Bush decided that a return to Victorian sensibility is just what this nation needs. His first target: public schools.
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The Red Tape: Student Vocabularies are Shit

May 13, 2002 by Josh Braun

As a general rule, I try not to cuss - not in my speech, not in my columns. Am I perfect on either count? Fuck no. But today, I'll make an exception to prove a point.
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Nexus Should Cover Club Sports Like My Rowing Team

May 13, 2002 by Christopher Lem

I think that the Daily Nexus' coverage of club sports is pathetic. Everyday readers look at the sports page and are constantly reminded of how much our NCAA Division I Teams suck ass.
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Always Bundle up Your Genitals, There is Disease, Infection in I.V.

May 13, 2002 by Jonathan Siders

Does everyone in I.V. have sex? And if they do are they being safe about it? No, not everyone is having sex, in fact 17 percent of UCSB students do not engage in oral, anal or vaginal sexual intercour...
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Feces Finders

May 10, 2002 by Staff

It's a shitty job but it's good that someone's going to do it. Some malicious fecal matter is adrift in our oceans and now we're going to know how much is really there.
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More Peanuts for the Masses

May 10, 2002 by Staff

You know the big boxes that arrived in Storke Plaza Thursday?
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The Best Anniversary Gifts Are Fire and Flood

May 10, 2002 by Brendan Buhler

When the date approaches and your steely eyed girlfriend wonders just what you have in store for her, you plan. While no man wishes for war or anniversaries, they are thrust upon us for the preservati...
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I’m in SAC, but I’m Not a Party Person

May 8, 2002 by Edward Yan

I hate to say it, but I agree with Jonathan Kalinski for once. He was right that in real politics this is how the game is played.
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Weather Talent

May 8, 2002 by Staff

I am retooling the weatherrésumé. I have decided that while there are a lot of things I am very good at, they are not necessarily things I want to advertise.
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The Red Tape: Bioethics Research Blues

May 8, 2002 by Josh Braun

Researching bioethics issues is fascinating. It's my job. It's a pain in the ass. The problem is that few people in the news media appear to have any idea what they are actually talking about.
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Weather: I Thought We Were Friends, Dave

May 8, 2002 by Staff

The WeatherComputer has been rebelling. It shuts down on its own, runs programs nobody tells it to; it's trying to take control.
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A.S., Divided by Parties, Cannot Stand

May 8, 2002 by Jenna Reed

Here's an idea: In order to form a more cohesive and efficient government, let's create a party system for A.S. Brilliant fucking idea.
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Nexus Sex Columnist Misses The Point Behind Neo-Pagan Rituals

May 8, 2002 by David Gartrell

I was bewildered by columnist Sarah Kent's depiction of the maypole at a neo-pagan spring festival as "a big, old symbol of a male-dominated universe".
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