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The Weatherfund

October 9, 2002 by Staff

It's time for "special elections," although I'm not sure what's so special about them. The issue, as I understand it, is that A.S. squandered its money on bad investments, resulting in massive debt, a...
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When He Can’t Do the Job, Call Your Battery-Powered Friend

October 9, 2002 by Beth Van Dyke

Why is it so difficult for girls to have orgasms? Why is that men seem to be able to find pleasure in any light stimulation whatsoever? It has to be one of the most common questions asked of women in ...
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The Death of a Salesman

October 8, 2002 by Staff

The youth crime prevention kid woke me up at 9 this morning to sell me a candy bar.
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A Lesson From Our Fine, Fuzzy, Aussie Friends

October 8, 2002 by Cory Anthony

One thing to keep in mind when doing research is that there is always another step between where you are and the actual work.
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Concrete Islands in I.V. Roads Will Make Matters Even Worse

October 8, 2002 by Jonathan Morin

I believe that this is a ridiculous route toward safer streets, and it is quite possible that it will prove to be more of a hazard than a protective measure in Isla Vista.
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In the Still of the Night

October 8, 2002 by Alex Benowitz-Fredricks

It really is a form of tranquility when totally new people can be relied on to behave in exactly the same ways, be duped in exactly the same ways and disappear in exactly the same ways.
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Drink of the Week

October 7, 2002 by Staff

I used to like the sparrow family in the UCen. They're cute when they fly up and perch on your chair. They clean the floors of excess croissant crumbs.
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Special Election Endorsements: A.S. Base Fee Initiative

October 7, 2002 by Staff

A.S. has the ability to call a special election whenever it pleases, and this one seems more in the interests of the executive board than of student groups.
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Special Election Endorsements: MCC Lock-In Fee

October 7, 2002 by Staff

The MultiCultural Center is asking each student for $1 per quarter in the form of a lock-in fee to continue its incredible program of free shows including dramatic, dance and musical performances, as ...
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Take That, News-Press

October 4, 2002 by Kenneth Pettit

At the risk of competing with an organization that owns a barrel of ink, I will respond to the editorial "What is this, Florida?" published in the Santa Barbara News-Press on Sept. 27, 2002.
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Getting to Know All About You…

October 4, 2002 by Staff

Centuries ago, men and women were shown the implements of torture and given a chance to confess their sins before being tried and burned at the stake.
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You Must Be Kidding; DP Can’t Get Any Worse, Right?

October 4, 2002 by Jon Eggart

This week, many Isla Vista residents may have noticed the spray painted lines in the center of their street. I came home from class today to see two construction vehicles outside my house with jackham...
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Brits, Booze and Big Ben

October 3, 2002 by Suresh Samuel

London is to Europe what New York is to the U.S. You can walk out on the street at any time, day or night, and feel the energy of the city as you join thousands of people on the streets.
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One-Liner (Maybe Two)

October 3, 2002 by Staff

One-Liner (Maybe Two)
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Living Without Vowels: Patriotism Sells: Americans Cash In on the Grand Old Flag

October 3, 2002 by Steven Ruszczycky

If you search for "unity ribbons" on Google, the first two websites you'll find can explain to you the intricacies of pagan cultures. American memorabilia vendors take a back seat, the first starting ...
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