I have so many problems with your opinion column “The Sea May be Old…” in Wednesday’s (Jan. 9) opinion section that I simply do not know where to start.
I should state early on that I have absolutely no problem with December-May relationships, the discussion of sex and sexual activities in a public forum, or most types of sex at all for that matter. I think that sexual education is extremely important and I am glad to see that people are generally becoming more open about their own sexuality. So for the most part I have no moral objection or anything like that to an opinion of this persuasion being printed in a campus paper. I thought the first half was relatively well written and somewhat intriguing.
My problems start with the sentence: “My penis might not be able to give it to me hard and fast, ten times a night, but he can give it to me long and slow, for more than ten seconds at a time.” First of all, your boyfriend’s penis is not “your penis.” It is HIS penis and it was his penis long before you two began sleeping together. And he will most likely share his penis with others after you two break up or move on or whatever. The fact that you use the words “he” and “my penis” as interchangeable subjects of your sentence really disturbs me. I have NEVER heard a man talk about a woman that he is sleeping with as “my vagina.” And if I used that phrase with female friends to describe a woman I was sleeping with, I would expect to get slapped. And I would deserve it too. It is inappropriate and disrespectful to both your boyfriend and every man that read this article. It simply would not have been printed if it were the other way around. That kind of reverse chauvinism is not an acceptable way to deal with the ills of a two-gender society. I am for female empowerment and respect strong independent women more than anything, but you cannot objectify men to the highest level of hyperbole under the false pretense of feminism.
I should move on to the latter half of the sentence where you juxtapose the sex you have with your companion to another type of sex that nameless people are supposedly having. My problem with this is that you do not know about sex other than the sex you have had with your boyfriend. Who exactly are these guys who can only last 10 seconds? As you have admitted to being a virgin before your knew your boyfriend, how can you accuse a whole generation of men as being bad lovers?
You complain later in that paragraph that other men you have dated were no good at sexually exciting you and that your new lover had an intuitive understanding of your body. Men are NOT responsible for having this intuitive grasp of how to get a woman off. A woman should know what she enjoys sexually, and should be able to communicate to her partner what is arousing and what is not. Each woman has completely different responses to different ways of being physical. Men are not mind readers and most likely your previous unexciting romances were partly your fault.
I also resent your accusations that this generation of men are mostly out to manipulate random women so they can get “their cocks fondled.” In every lecture I sit in, all I hear are the two girls behind me talking about who they’re dating, who they’d like to be dating, how to get their boyfriend to do what they want, etc. And I always hear “just be this way when he comes over” or “pretend to be really distant” or something ridiculous like that. Men I know never talk like that nor do they enjoy those games. With the power that this generation of women has, you cannot afford to waste that power on the minds and hearts of men.
Furthermore, when you talk about “the hornball … staring at my cleavage,” it should be noted that if you don’t want somebody to look at your cleavage, then don’t wear tops that show off your cleavage. This should be fairly obvious. (Hint: you can be sexy and modest at the same time.) And if you resent that you have to put up with these “hornballs” just so you can hook up, then don’t hook up with them. Look harder for better men and most importantly look harder at yourself. If you want a more complete man, then don’t refer to men as simply “penises.” No man I know would appreciate being referred to as simply a penis nor would he be inclined to date someone who made remarks such as that.
I didn’t mean to be so nasty in this reply, it is just that I cannot sit idly as I watch my fellow generation of men be objectified and stereotyped by a woman who has no experience with them. Also, I use examples of overheard conversations just coincidentally and as passive examples. I make no assumptions that all women are manipulative. Most of the women I have surrounded myself with are open and honest: but as men are not above being manipulative, neither are women.
Again, I would like to state that I have no qualms about having open and frank discussions about sex in the media, and specifically the Daily Nexus, but I argue that your column was not an open discussion but rather a condemnation on all the sex the rest of us are having. Maybe you are having good sex, but so are a lot of other people. And until you grow up, stop idealizing your own sex life, stop being a chauvinist and start giving your own generation the benefit of the doubt, you won’t be having sex with anybody your own age.
Theo Baker is a senior art studio major.