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Turds and Tulips

March 4, 2005 by Staff

Jagged, painful turds to the police for trying to end decades of biker rule with a ticket-happy crackdown. Safe, dry tulips to the local groups and establishments that contributed aid money for tsunam...
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Martha’s Baked Honey Mustard Plover

March 4, 2005 by Staff

Uh oh. Martha is back on the streets again, free to inflict her domestically perfect lifestyle and recipes upon us all.
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Freedom Really Is Just 40 Ounces Away

March 4, 2005 by Sean Swaby

People ask me about this column pretty regularly. "Hey man, we have beer, but we don't have any 40s. Sorry, I know that's kind of your, like, forte and all." "I'll drink anything," I respond -- and dr...
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Bedhead Diaries: Save Romantic Getaways for a Different Season

March 4, 2005 by Meghan Palma

And so the countdown to Spring Break begins. Off to Cancun? Costa Rica? Cabo? Well, bon voyage, my travel-happy friends -- I'm jealous of you. That is, unless, you're going on said fabulous vacation w...
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Plan to Slaughter Pigs Is Anything but Kosher

March 4, 2005 by Justin Matson

After reading the article "Island Pig Eradication Spurs Wild Controversy," I thought the Nexus was playing an early April Fools' joke. How could such a ridiculous plan be taken seriously? I'll admit I...
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Cleaning Up Your Crap

March 3, 2005 by Adam Graff

Last year, a group of A.S. Legislative Council members, myself included, and the current execs broke off from the Student Action Coalition (SAC), Student Unity Now (SUN) and the Gauchoholics. We were ...
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Cyber Castaways

March 3, 2005 by Staff

I recently read some poll results - either that or I'm making it up - that said most Americans, if they could take one thing with them to a desert island, would bring the Internet.
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You’re Not in Santa Barbara Anymore

March 3, 2005 by Adam Tartakovsky

First came the cascade of phone calls. One by one, our group of foreign students - along with the rest of the people in the bar - answered their cell phones: One by one, the bar emptied. These weren't...
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Republicans Bask in Their Television-Constructed Reality

March 3, 2005 by Garrick Sitongia

Unlike liberals who permit themselves to have different ideas, conservatives all sound the same. That is because they are brainwashed. A recent study examined the conservative mind and found that the ...
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Reap The Bacon Benefits From The Pig Slaughter

March 3, 2005 by Shawn Moura

I'm a well-intentioned Leftist intellectual with concerns about the environment. That said, the population of "wild" pigs in the Channel Islands should make good ham.
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Don’t Strip Down Just Yet

March 2, 2005 by Dave Franzese

When it's time to hit our hips together, some of us young and restless ones get really hot when you don't go all the way... nude, that is. I'm not talking about leaving your top on while you fuck in t...
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Lions and Tigers and Ligers, Oh My

March 2, 2005 by Staff

A "liger" - the combination of a lion and tiger - is a real thing and is, according to the director of conservation at the Minnesota Zoo, "the production of freaks by people who have freaky minds."
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Disagreeing Views Belong in Universities

March 2, 2005 by Colin Whiting

When did America become a nanny state, where everyone has to feel loved by all they come in contact with? Where anyone who disagrees with us is considered 'treasonous'? I don't know.
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Talk More, Type Less

March 1, 2005 by Chris Trenchard

"Hey you!" I say to the man in front of me in line. "Hey buddy!" I offer, as politely as humanly possible, to the robot I trail patiently on the bike path. "Hey slut!" I finally proclaim to the guy si...
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