Required Reading
Today's the last day to vote for me for A.S. president. I'm not a betting 'human (I forecast instead), but I wager that the winner will be: the signs.
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Opinion
Today's the last day to vote for me for A.S. president. I'm not a betting 'human (I forecast instead), but I wager that the winner will be: the signs.
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Editor's Note:
Due to the large number of responses to Alec Mouhibian's column ("Private Dancer: The Deception Behind Gender Studies," Daily Nexus, April 19), we have published excerpts from severa...
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We are brilliant. At the ripe age of 18 - and in many cases even younger - we discovered a word so flexible, so generic and so damn sexy that we would never need to use another word again.
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As of this Monday, the neighbors who reside behind me have been set on striking flint, eager to set off the powder keg that is our shared parking lot. They now park with megalomaniacal abandon, errati...
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It's 4/20, and the government just replaced the single grain-heavy food pyramid we grew up with 12 different ones to reflect your sex, lifestyle, age, tax filing status, etc.
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As of Tuesday, April 19, 2005, the federal government has spent well over $6 billion on the great "War on Drugs" for this year. I suppose it's needless to remind you that this year has barely kicked o...
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A woman's charm goes further than tactics of batting eyelashes, uncontrollable giggles and a hiked-up miniskirt. Case in point: When a man would apply one of his pickup lines and I would respond with ...
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It's the second day of A.S. elections, so you should have already voted for me for president, but in case you haven't, I have another campaign promise: As A.S. president, all of the crimes I commit (o...
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I'm not much for playground gender discourse. Men aren't from Mars - and as far as I'm concerned, if women were really from Venus, they'd have three boobs. Yet there are certain phallophobic feminists...
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One could argue that this year has started off on the wrong foot. The persistent rains, devastating tsunami and the pressure of another quarter can all contribute to a less-than-perky attitude. For so...
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As a house of 12 guys on oceanside DP, we're frequently front and center as the helpless victims/neutral spectators/chronic instigators of the relentless debauchery that is DP. We knew what we were ge...
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I spent most of Earth Day trashed out of my mind. The festivities at Anisq' Oyo' Park pushed the holiday to an alcoholic extreme, making even the most prudish of students into slothful sex machines. W...
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Quick! Drop whatever you're doing now (sitting in lecture, breast-feeding, both, etc.), run to a computer, log on to GOLD and vote for the Weatherhuman for A.S. president.
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Before you go about giving that biker on a cell phone the dirtiest look you can muster, perhaps you should commend them for killing two birds with one cell phone-shaped stone.
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When you learn to drive they advise you against certain distractions while operating the vehicle: listening to headphones, giving road head and talking on the phone - to avoid an untimely death.
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