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Da-na-nah-na-nah-naaw-na

September 27, 2005 by

Remember that show back in the day? You know, the one with the agro crag and the inexplicably British referee? Yes, Guts. Or was it GUTS? Or was it SHAMELESS EXPLOITATION OF A RACIALLY DIVERSE GROUP O...
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It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s the End of the World

September 27, 2005 by Chris Trenchard

When I think of the apocalypse, I first think of the sky. Whether it be frogs or stars or the sky itself, something will fall from it, I'm assured. In the past month, to me, the sky has shown itself t...
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He Said, She Said: Take Matters Into Your Own Hands and Get Yourself One

September 27, 2005 by Jeff Gibson

So you're under 21 and all you want to do is get drunk - wait, strike that - all you want to do is get drunk as cheaply as possible. There is no question that Isla Vista is one of the easiest places t...
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He Said, She Said: A Fake ID Is Obsolete in Booze-Infested Isla Vista

September 27, 2005 by Mollie Vandor

There is no shortage of fake, falsified, or forged phenomena in Isla Vista. We are great at faking everything from perfect tans to semi-believable excuses for skipping section to complete sobriety whe...
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The First Open Letter to Freshmen on Bikepaths

September 27, 2005 by Elia Boggia

Newbies: Welcome to UCSB. Whether you're a barely legal freshman, a transfer from Madison, Wis. or an international exchange student, we Gauchos welcome you. I.V. and Goleta may not look as pretty as ...
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Summer, with a Juice Chaser

September 26, 2005 by Sean Swaby

I
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Why Does It Happen?

September 26, 2005 by

The weatherhuman, despite some suspicions, is ultimately human. It is capable of triumphant glee, yet sorrow is also one of its fundamental faculties. The weatherhuman and its co-workers are terribly ...
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Construction Dodger Awaiting Completion

September 26, 2005 by David Fuad

Anyone who has stepped on campus recently must have noticed the insane amount of construction in progress. Everywhere you turn, there's another gigantic hole in the ground, or the steel skeleton of s...
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Where Did the Violence Go?

September 23, 2005 by Nick Pasto

I watched a lot of television when I was a kid. My favorite show was "G.I. Joe." This program taught me almost everything I know about life. It taught me that it's okay to run around firing machine gu...
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Take Two

September 23, 2005 by

Two issues in and already two corrections. The
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Student Influx Leaves Schnauzers Unsafe

September 23, 2005 by Harrison Coltun

This is the story of a man and his dog. Actually it is about one bitter senior and his small absent-minded schnauzer. What is on my mind is the recent and obnoxious influx of people back to this beaut...
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A Summary for Slackers

September 22, 2005 by Chris Trenchard

Because it
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Thursday or Bust

September 22, 2005 by

Did you know that today is the first day of autumn? It
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Learning Life Lessons at Freebirds

September 22, 2005 by Jeff Gibson

Staring red-eyed and perplexed into the gigantic black board, I realized of all the places in the world right now, this was where I wanted to be. It didn't matter that it was 2 a.m. or that I had just...
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Welcome Back to Your Nine-Month Vacation

September 22, 2005 by David Fuad

Ah, back-to-school season. Before college, going to back to school was the worst time of year. It meant the end of warm, lazy days spent doing nothing at the beach.
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