Opinion

September 28, 2005

Something Even the Mighty Bong Can’t Beat

By Jeff Gibson

It was Sunday morning, about 9:30 - the time when I'm usually hitting the halfway point of the best sleep I've managed to grab over the past week. The time when I should be dreaming of endless fields covered with magical...

September 28, 2005

Housing Lottery Lacks Economic Sagacity

By Colin Marshall

Every year, students apply for on-campus housing and parking. Busy praying that they'll be granted a place to sleep and a patch of asphalt where their car will be keyed less, they don't think twice about it.

September 28, 2005

News on the Tube Scores Poorly on Alum’s Report Card

By Katy Tur

Having just graduated from college in June and having taken my first step into the working world, I have noticed a few things. I recently began a job at a news station in Los Angeles.

September 27, 2005

Do I Know You From Somewhere?

By Bri Lafond

Here we are, back in class, back in those uncomfortable desks, back to fighting to keep yourself awake during that post-lunch foray into your general education requirements. Just as inevitable as the fact that that class...

September 27, 2005

Da-na-nah-na-nah-naaw-na

By system

Remember that show back in the day? You know, the one with the agro crag and the inexplicably British referee? Yes, Guts. Or was it GUTS? Or was it SHAMELESS EXPLOITATION OF A RACIALLY DIVERSE GROUP OF CHILDREN?

September 27, 2005

It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s the End of the World

By Chris Trenchard

When I think of the apocalypse, I first think of the sky. Whether it be frogs or stars or the sky itself, something will fall from it, I'm assured. In the past month, to me, the sky has shown itself to be an unstable bea...

September 27, 2005

He Said, She Said: Take Matters Into Your Own Hands and Get Yourself One

By Jeff Gibson

So you're under 21 and all you want to do is get drunk - wait, strike that - all you want to do is get drunk as cheaply as possible. There is no question that Isla Vista is one of the easiest places to find booze in such...

September 27, 2005

He Said, She Said: A Fake ID Is Obsolete in Booze-Infested Isla Vista

By Mollie Vandor

There is no shortage of fake, falsified, or forged phenomena in Isla Vista. We are great at faking everything from perfect tans to semi-believable excuses for skipping section to complete sobriety when the I.V. Foot Patr...

September 27, 2005

The First Open Letter to Freshmen on Bikepaths

By Elia Boggia

Newbies: Welcome to UCSB. Whether you're a barely legal freshman, a transfer from Madison, Wis. or an international exchange student, we Gauchos welcome you. I.V. and Goleta may not look as pretty as SB, but don't despai...

September 26, 2005

Summer, with a Juice Chaser

By Sean Swaby

September 26, 2005

Why Does It Happen?

By system

The weatherhuman, despite some suspicions, is ultimately human. It is capable of triumphant glee, yet sorrow is also one of its fundamental faculties. The weatherhuman and its co-workers are terribly saddened by the trag...

September 26, 2005

Construction Dodger Awaiting Completion

By David Fuad

Anyone who has stepped on campus recently must have noticed the insane amount of construction in progress. Everywhere you turn, there's another gigantic hole in the ground, or the steel skeleton of some building-to-be. ...

September 23, 2005

Where Did the Violence Go?

By Nick Pasto

I watched a lot of television when I was a kid. My favorite show was "G.I. Joe." This program taught me almost everything I know about life. It taught me that it's okay to run around firing machine guns and missiles at y...

September 23, 2005

Take Two

By system

Two issues in and already two corrections. The

September 23, 2005

Student Influx Leaves Schnauzers Unsafe

By Harrison Coltun

This is the story of a man and his dog. Actually it is about one bitter senior and his small absent-minded schnauzer. What is on my mind is the recent and obnoxious influx of people back to this beautiful, horrible, fire...

September 22, 2005