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Opinion

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UCSB Conspires With Landlords to Evict Locals

Greetings, returning and new UCSB students. I write to inform or remind you that Isla Vista is both a "college town" and a "coastal community." In fact, it started as a coastal community before UCSB w...
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Exit Exam Prevents Future Failure

Every year, several seniors awaiting their high school diploma must devote three hours of their summer to prove minimal competence in math and language. However, in light of California's abominable ed...
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Why Color Me Suprised

Why color me suprised. A color front page?
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Please, Love America!

Welcome to America, circa 2006. "Men" now wear girl pants and perfume. Paris Hilton is considered a national treasure for her brilliant work in ... House of Wax? Activists are still chanting "Bush lie...
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Babies of the

Pasty, hairy thighs - a nauseating concoction that should never have to be imagined, let alone witnessed. Unfortunately, pasty, hairy thighs are appearing in waves at our beaches and pools, tarnishing...
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Article on Dorm Downloads Is Irresponsible

As the manager of Residential Network Services here at UCSB, I am responsible for the ResNet service.
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Dude, What Are You On?

In all irony, I never knew my best friend until this summer.
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Beware of Sketchy Roommates

Now that you're all settled in, what do you think of your new roommate - roommates for the unlucky triples? He seems cool, right? Doesn't get in your face, has good hygiene, and seems to share some of...
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Welcome to UCSB! Now How About Writing Us An Opinion Column, Smarty-Pants?

We need to have a serious talk, and no, it can't wait until after you're done reading the sex column in the bathroom. So, please, put that thing away.
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Weather

YAAAWN *Smacks Lips* What the? Who the hell are you?
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He Said, She Said: Car Vs. No Car

It's likely that incoming freshmen reading this have many questions about UCSB. How do I get to my classes? Will I get laid on the first night? Should I bring my car to school?
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He Said, She Said: Car Vs. No Car

Sit down, my child. It's time we had a talk about your popularity.
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Hey, Gauchos, Um, Wanna Do It?

No more lying to your parents about where you spent Friday night. No more switching back clocks to extend curfews. No more mandatory class before eight.
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Forget About Flavor and Follow Booze Clues

See if you can find what's wrong with this picture: Twenty people are crowded inside a small, black-lit room with Paris Hilton's newest single bumping on an iBook's meager speaker system.
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Get Neighborly in I.V.

After much experience, I have come to the conclusion that hooking up with your neighbors, or at least with some new blood, is vital to the fresh-start feeling of summer in I.V.
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