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Freedom Territory: U.S. and North Korea Drop Bombs

Ever bent down to slap two poodles and gotten so distracted that a starving Rottweiler was able to shove a massive metal enema up your rectum? It's happened to several elephants with big fat asses dow...
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The Mark Side of UCSB: A.S. Needs to Tell It As It Is

Student government is a joke. Not because of its irresponsible actions, though I'm sure somebody can point out examples, but rather because of Associated Students' lack of attempts to inform the stude...
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Definitions of Democracy and Liberty Need Clarity

I'd like to clear up an issue that seems to be causing a great deal of confusion. I use the word "confusion" and not "obfuscation" because I want to give the conservative and libertarian writers that ...
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Voting Builds Power For All Students in California

There are several reasons why students shouldn’t vote in this November’s election. People say the issues don’t affect us, and that even if we try we won’t make a difference. Cl...
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Columnist Omits Efforts of His Fellow Citizens

It isn’t unusual to hear self-absorbed, politically aware types bemoan the ignorance and apathy of their fellow citizens. Yet, the most prominent feature of Adam Wenger’s column (“Am...
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The SoCal Weed Is All You Need

Growing up in Northern California had its advantages. While my childhood friends and I missed out on SoCal's golden beaches and stellar surfing, we realized nothing on the West Coast could compete wit...
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Good, Regret-Filled Choice

Ever wonder what it's like to be an engineering major?
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Golden State Blues: Codeoscope Reveals Your Own Area Code Personality

I'm obsessed with area codes. I can't help it. It's my belief that your area code can tell you a lot about what kind of person you really are.
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More Money, More Problems

Associated Students and several other campus organizations have apparently adopted the Thomas Tussler idiom, "A fool and his money are soon parted" - and apparently we are the fools.
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“A” for Effort

Excelsior! Or some nerdy phrase like that. A computer programmer in Australia has apparently proved that Neil Armstrong – known primarily for his grammatical correctness – actually said, &...
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U.S. Should Bring Jobs Home to Help Economy

At the turn of the century, the labor movement took some harsh hits. Over one million jobs were lost in the United States to the North American Free Trade Agreement that granted free trade with Mexico...
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Become a Slave to the Authorities

It was a balmy morning in Isla Vista - 2 a.m. to be exact - and after a few successful rounds of flip cup and beer pong, I had a man on my arm and was on a hormone-driven mission home.
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