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California State Blues
With Thanksgiving break behind us and Winter Break only a couple of weeks away, the thoughts of many Gauchos turn toward the long voyage home. Some of you will be flying, but those of greater testicul...
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Oops, We Did It Again
Fuck me. Really, I could use a good fuck after all the corrections this week. Unfortunately, the Weathermate hates mistakes… like Weatherhuman Jr. Correction: In the feature photo “Round A...
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Even Grungy Guys Need Fashion Tips
"So, okay. I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take th...
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Sober Sex Is So Sensual
Boom, boom, BOOM! You wake with a start, your poor head pounding, mad cottonmouth and the sickeningly sweet taste of Jaeger still on your lips. What the fuck happened? The wrinkled Trojan wrapper next...
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Freedom of Restriction
So the Bush administration isn't too happy about the media using the words "civil war,"
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Drinker’s Digest
After a couple more weeks of playing beer pong, I've discovered and created a few more alterations. If you've read my previous article, feel free to incorporate any of those previous rules in combinat...
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Maryland Democratic Party Falsely Accused of Racism
No one -- reporters and photographers included -- besides Republicans and their relatives ever recalls seeing tossed cookies during this massively public event in which dozens of reporters were presen...
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County-Governed Isla Vista Should Incorporate as a City
Your article by Henry Sarria ("Hypocritical District Supervisor Should Stay Out of I.V.," Daily Nexus, Nov. 21) failed the geography test.
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Liberty Belle
Pope Benedict XVI arrives in Turkey today, amid a storm of protest that began promptly with the announcement of his visit more than a week ago. The pope's visit is another of his efforts to mend the l...
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Older Men’s I.V. Cat Calls Are Not in Holiday Spirit
It's peppermint mocha season. The Christmas decorations in stores before Halloween, the weather changing and my mother nagging about Christmas lists mean nothing to me until the peppermint mocha is on...
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Friedman Is Not So Worthy of Grand Tribute and Praise
Last week, the Nexus's resident insufferable economics major Colin Marshall ("Ode to Economist: Farewell Friedman," Daily Nexus, Nov. 22) was found reminiscing on the life of the late Milton Friedman.
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Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Everything shower every day
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Has an extensive tote bag collection but never brings one to Trader Joe’s
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Reusing condoms
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Collecting tears to water their plants
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Asking to shower together to “save water”
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Air conditioning and electric blanket running simultaneously
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Has gone from Temu to SHEIN for bikini purchases
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Fracking
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
On their 10th flight out of Santa Barbara Airport this month
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Owns seven Stanley cups
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Wrote their environmental ethics essay with ChatGPT
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Vegan contributing to Big Almond
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