Opinion

May 23, 2006

UCSB Student Body Members Display Their Distaste For President Bush

By Jake Thorn

Yesterday at noon, a group of about 15 students streaked across the Arbor. They wore only George W. Bush masks. Bystanders were confused, but then they saw the banner these naked patriots bore: "Bush, end the streak of l...

May 22, 2006

Elect the Qualified DA

By Sally Marois

While the race for district attorney in Santa Barbara County may be heated, there is no real debate when looking at the candidates' issue positions and backgrounds. As an intern in the DA's office for some time now, I se...

May 22, 2006

Guess who?

By system

The 'human was shocked to learn that the Women's Lacrosse team has been suspended for possible hazing. But the photographic evidence found at www.badjocks.com says it all: attractive college-aged girls drinking, smiling ...

May 22, 2006

The U.S. Neglects Israel

By Shahid Shaikh

The information from the U.S. media has tainted the truth about the Israel-Palestine conflict. The biggest problem in the media portrayal of the conflict is blaming one country, Palestine. Though some Palestinians have p...

May 22, 2006

County Residents Should Make It Their Mission to Split

By Justin M. Ruhge

The county split process has been underway by serious citizens for the past five years. About 33,000 north County voters signed a petition to force the State of California to investigate both the high costs of Santa Barb...

May 19, 2006

Trivial Weathergenitals

By system

The ‘human’s head hurts. This goddamn correction is cramping the ‘human’s style. And its head. Tuesday’s forecast: Speaking of cramps, the ‘human’s … shit, not enough space...

May 19, 2006

Don’t TP My Bungalow

By Sean Swaby

Anyone who's lived here long enough has surely seen plenty of head scratchers. When some ten thousand college kids live in a square-mile box, there's inevitably going to be a strong contingent of stupid people. These stu...

May 19, 2006

Overnight Relay Tramples Cancer

By system

This year, cancer will strike more than 1.3 million Americans and take more than half a million lives. As friends and family, we can do something to save lives and help those already fighting this disease. The Colleges A...

May 19, 2006

UCSB Officials Should Stay in School, Out of I.V.

By system

Zachariah Hubbell got many things wrong in his article, "UCSB Should Punish Serious Crimes Committed in I.V." (Daily Nexus, May 17). The article discusses the Campus Regulations Review Committee's proposal to punish stud...

May 19, 2006

District Attorney Candidate Christie Stanley Sleeps Alone Tonight

By system

The district attorney's race is heating up, and the recent article in the Daily Nexus shows that all three candidates are vying for the support of the students of UCSB and the population of Isla Vista. I think that when ...

May 18, 2006

Welcome to the Machine

By system

Remember back in the day when only the who’s who had cell phones? Now if one cannot get a hold of another’s cell, their lives are in disarray. The ‘human was befuddled when two – that’s righ...

May 18, 2006

Sex Dolls End Humanity

By Nick Pasto

I don't know what killed off the dinosaurs. Maybe it was an asteroid. Maybe it was disease. Maybe it was a combination of Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola. I'll probably never know for sure, but I do think I've managed to figure ...

May 18, 2006

Hey, Readers, Take a Look, It’s in a Book

By system

Books: What are books but odd bricks of paper we are supposed to read in order to pass our exams? A pile of books brings the top-shelf liquor into reach. They provide a quick scrap of paper to jot down a phone number - e...

May 17, 2006

Orgasm Simultaneously

By Nina Anthony

dmittedly, I've never been a great one with numbers, but there is one number I believe everyone should be readily and happily familiar with: the infamous 69. I know there are some of you out there who just can't bring yo...

May 17, 2006

Strange Days

By system

The ‘human decided that it was tired of being dark and gloomy and allowed the sun to shine for a short while today. Wednesday’s forecast: Despite the pleasant sun, unfortunately, the weatherhomework doesn&#82...

May 17, 2006

Bring Out Your Inner Elephant By Tanning

By system

I did it. I took everything I stand for as a human being and threw it out the window. What made me digress to such drastic measures? Nothing more than a simple glance at my calendar: T-minus 14 days until my cousins wedd...