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Automated Toilets Suck

April 24, 2008 by Staff

Has anyone ever figured out why the illegal immigrants at car washes are so happy all the time? I mean they're singing, dancing and laughing the entire time, even though they're doing hard manual labo...
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UCSB Faculty and Staff Encourage Religious Tolerance

April 24, 2008 by Juan E. Campo

On Monday, April 14, the Daily Nexus featured a paid advertisement from an off-campus organization that constituted an unprincipled and grossly inaccurate attack against the UCSB Muslim Student...
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Help! That Man Just Stole My Penis

April 23, 2008 by Staff

According to Reuters - a reputable news outlet I might add - police in Congo arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink penises.
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Chicks and Dicks Cavort Downtown

April 23, 2008 by Dana Olsen

Thursday, 9:23 a.m. - Fuuuuck. If the throbbing head and dry mouth is any indication, it feels like I probably went to OTT last night. Singing karaoke to "Benny and the Jets" must not have been a bad ...
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Speaker Diversifies Argument on Islam

April 23, 2008 by Staff

There has been much controversy lately on our campus. In lieu of recent events involving an ad taken out by David Horowitz and the numerous responses from supporters of the Muslim Student Association,...
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Scientific Evidence Debunks Fatty Fables

April 23, 2008 by David Rabie

Whole, low-fat or nonfat? Which do you usually go for? Do you choose based on taste or health, or do you compromise? Best-selling author and nutrition expert Michael Pollan has deemed the low-fat craz...
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Pre-Gaming Packs Punch Prior to Any Isla Vista Party

April 23, 2008 by Ray Collins

Drinking, in preparation of more drinking, sounds like a great idea to me. It is not uncommon to find students pre-gaming a couple hours before any given party. But what exactly defines the great art ...
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Think!

April 23, 2008 by Staff

Missed Connection

April 22, 2008 by Staff

I’ m more than a little creeped out by the missed connection about someone at the Nexus. At first, I thought it was about me. After all, I am an insightful and amazing writer, and yes, I am inde...
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Advertisement Creates Hardship for Muslim Students

April 22, 2008 by Yehya Z. Chawich

Terrorism, in the modern sense, is violence against civilians to achieve political or ideological objectives through creating fear. Last time I checked, that was the accurate definition. Last Monday, ...
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Unwanted Libertarians Crash the Party

April 22, 2008 by Jeff Dulgar

Third parties in the American political system annoy the crap out of me. I mean, sure, you have the right to join any political party you choose, but come on. Of all the third parties out there I take...
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Media Ignores Bush Torture Confession

April 22, 2008 by Marc Duquette

If you've looked at any major news source over the weekend, I'm sure you're aware of the recent brouhaha surrounding Barack Obama's remarks regarding bitterness, guns and religion. Now, everyone is sh...
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Boy Meets World, Eight Years Later

April 22, 2008 by Alex Pavlovic

T.G.I.F.: For some, the acronym refers to the restaurant with delicious chicken fingers. For others, the four letters bring pleasant thoughts of a weekend filled with drinking, sleeping or watching fo...
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Columnist Flushes Past A.S. Follies

April 21, 2008 by Mana Mostatabi

Hooray, it's election time. And no, I'm not referring to the played out Democratic Pennsylvania Primary. While Obama and Clinton prepare for what we all hope is a sudden political deathmatch, the peop...
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Really Bad Trip

April 21, 2008 by Staff

Did you have a nice, peaceful day yesterday? Did you reflect on the meaning of life, and your purpose on Earth? Did you eat a whole bag of Cooler Ranch Doritos? Did you watch Half Baked? Did you go to...
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