Opinion
Saturday morning, when a lonely freshman girl wandered into my kitchen on a whim to introduce herself and complain about the dozens of water balloons that have struck her since move-in, I decided that...
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All right, granted, watching the unfortunate exploits of the blacked-out freshmen gallivanting around Del Playa Drive provides a certain degree of amusement for us upperclassmen. Their antics take me ...
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You read that right, my sleepy-eyed stoners. Cannabis CURES cancer. Okay, that is a bit of propaganda wrapped up in overstatement. But guess what? It is our turn to spread the real propaganda of ganja...
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Do you ever go to sleep hoping you'll wake up inside that mind-bending, McDonald's-funded anti-drug film, starring every goddamn cartoon character that's ever graced the silver screen? You know, the o...
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Elections are just around the corner and you’ve probably made up your mind about a number of the issues after seeing the debates, watching the commercials and listening to both sides. I have a s...
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It’s that time again, where once every four years our elected officials do us, their constituency, a great favor. They allow us to vote! While the importance of voting cannot be over-stressed (y...
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I’ve been studying in Barbados for approximately six weeks. I have been dry precisely one time: on the airplane before I landed. Although as I disembarked from the plane, I walked into a light d...
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The Weathermate and I got in a big fight last week… something about “sleeping with other ‘humans.'” Anyway, in an effort to make it up to the ‘mate, I put together a real...
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Every time I read in the Nexus about the Isla Vista Master Plan, pedal through Pardall Road on my way to class and see protesting signs, or when one of my friends invites me via Facebook to one of the...
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John McCain versus Barack Obama. White versus black. Oldie versus newbie. Veteran versus rookie. Call it what you want, but this year’s ticket holds two of the most polar opposite candidates you...
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With a new year comes a new sea of bikes. Shiny beach cruisers, road bikes, mountain bikes, BMX bikes - whatever kind of bike you like or can afford. Enjoy these newly-bought squeaky-clean bikes becau...
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I recently came across a small flyer in Java Jones titled: “Girls you are gorgeous: Welcome to Isla Vista.” The words that followed were warm and sincere. It admonished the female populati...
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Sarah Palin was so cute in the debates last night. “Can I call ya Joe?” Awwww. You know what else is cute? Tiny cockapoo puppies taking a shit. Tomorrow’s weather: We’re fucked...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
