Opinion
At this moment - at the culmination of an age of unfettered capitalism and the dawn of an era of government activism - we are begged to consider the constitution of our financial markets. I think we c...
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On Jan. 26, 2009, 50,000 people in the United States were laid off. On Jan. 27, the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees on UCSB's campus asked for a $6,000 raise per employee ...
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There is something very disturbing happening on this campus. I believe that some of our professors are using their prestigious positions as academics to pass off biased and partisan political position...
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I've been freezing my ass off for the last three months. Sure, the last mini heat wave got me back into swapping my pants for tall boys of St. Ides, but now that Taaka-induced sleeve ripping leaves me...
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Weekend Forecast: Fuckin’ corrections stealing my space… So how ’bout them Superbowl ads? I took one out for all the money I make in the Nexus. Be on the lookout for my .03 seconds o...
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Butterflies. Not exactly what people think of when they think of Goleta. The average person is more likely to picture the beer-swilling, good looking, brilliantly scholastic UCSB student. In spite of ...
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Let’s play a game called “What is the IVFP wasting their time on today?” There are a bunch of potential valid answers to the question of course, but one is particularly prevalent tod...
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The other day, I cuddled up to my favorite naked bed buddy and tapped into the Web’s fine array of pornographic cinema. We were curious about the jaw-dropper that everyone’s been buzzing a...
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Rape is a taboo subject in our society. Many people don’t want to even acknowledge the existence of rape and how disgustingly frequently it occurs. Ignorance is bliss, right? The word “rap...
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As UCSB students, we come to accept certain facts of life. For instance, Storke Tower is an eyesore. Try denying that. Also, if you live in I.V. you’re bound to get a copy of the yellow pages ev...
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It is the curse of the humour columnist (a title which I can now claim in this inaugural column of mine, although I shy away from the term "writer" since it carries connotations of far greater tact) t...
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In the static bliss of perpetual blue skies, skimpy clothing, ever-flowing effervescent natty ice and sunsets that lend themselves to postcards and dreams from the landlocked, it becomes natural to ta...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
