Shit! In four days it’ll be our two-year anniversary together and you’re going to expect a nice gift from me. I’m going to have to stop everything else in my life and focus on you. Or focus on us, anyway. I’d be fine with this except for one little problem. I don’t fucking like you anymore.

Stop. Don’t panic. If you’ve been down this road before, then I know you’ve got some serious emotions running through your head. You couldn’t possibly break up with her now, right? It’ll break her heart. You’ll just do the anniversary thing, take her out to dinner, waste a few hundred bucks on her, and then dump her in the morning. Yeah. That seems like the perfect idea. Well it isn’t, idiot. So get your head out of your ass, grow some spine and dump her now, before you waste both your time and money.

Yes, it’s going to hurt. Yes, she might cry. But you know what? In the end it’ll be worth it because you were honest with yourself, and if she’s at all a good person, she’ll understand that. Shocking, I know, but sometimes relationships fizzle near a special holiday or anniversary. In fact, between Christmas, her birthday, Valentines day, the anniversary of your first date, the anniversary of your first fuck and the anniversary of your first god knows what, you aren’t really left with a whole lot of down time. And if she can’t get her head around that, then she shouldn’t have her head around yours anymore.

Look: You can take her out to a fancy dinner, or take her on a cruise to Mexico. But when you break up with her a few days later, she’s going to hate you for pretending you loved her, and you’re going to hate yourself for blowing the bank just for a couple more days of sex. For fucks sake, it’s just not worth it. So next time you want to throw in the towel, and her birthday is just around the corner, free yourself and dump that dead weight. You won’t regret it.