Valentine’s Day is this weekend! So is President’s Day! I propose we combine the two and all send Obama a Valentine. Or George W., if you want. Hell, you can even send one to Carter if that’s what you’re into. I’d just avoid Clinton. I hear he’s into “executive orders,” if you know what I mean.

…Wait, not even I know what I mean.

Saturday’s Forecast: Love is in the air…and it smells suspiciously like whiskey, sweat, and lowered expectations.