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Chris Farley For Commencement?

April 1, 2009 by Theo Tansgood

Editor’s Note: This article and all others included in today’s print and online issue are falsely formed for the sole purpose of the Daily Nexus’ April Fools Issue and do not reflect...
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April Foolishness

April 1, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

Today's the big day: the day when you get to put in action that evilly genius plot you've masterminded over the last month to get your roommate back once and for all.
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Womyn Want Respect, Bitches

April 1, 2009 by Indi Gogirl

Construction Forces Famed Hobo Out

April 1, 2009 by High Handle-Bar Hobo

Freedom of Religion?

March 31, 2009 by Megan Laffey

Growing up in America, I have always been thankful for all the freedoms we have, especially our freedom of religion. I know in many other countries people are attacked daily for their various faiths a...
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Alcoholism

March 31, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

Fuck you, UCSB.
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Campaigns Should Not Blind A.S.

March 31, 2009 by Steven Wolfson

It seemed like any other ordinary Wednesday afternoon as I frantically typed up a resolution in the A.S. main office.Â A committee discussed how many items to purchase for an event, doors sw...
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On TA-Student Crushes and Bad Grades

March 30, 2009 by Igor Hiller

Hey there. It’s me, Igor, your friendly neighborhood advice columnist. If you have a tribulation a-brewing, write to me at opinion@nexus.com, or drop your question in the opinions box in the Nex...
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Food Fights Show Immense Disrespect

March 30, 2009 by Michael Bates

I'm a De La Guerra Dining Commons employee, and my name is Michael Bates, better known as Dancing Pizza Guy or its many variations. Last quarter, I witnessed a food fight break out. I simply asked, wh...
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Old Friend Misses Roger Crona

March 30, 2009 by James Cassell

My name is James Cassell. I am sad to see that Roger Crona has died ("Roger Crona (Or Was it Jason von Straussenburg?) Dies at 62," Daily Nexus, Mar. 5). He was a good friend of mine from age 6 to age...
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Political Playground 2009

March 30, 2009 by Staff

Turds and Tulips

March 9, 2009 by Staff

Unrelenting, conniving turds to Steve Pappas for refusing to know when enough is enough. In life, there are winners and losers. Then there are assholes. Dirt poor, shriveled up turds to all of the uni...
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Things Not To Do When You’re Drunk

March 9, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

A word to the wise: If you're large, male and drunk, there are certain things you should and should not attempt.
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On Joblessness, Loneliness and Anxiousness

March 9, 2009 by Igor Hiller

Hello there, it’s me, Igor. This column is due Sunday morning, and it’s Saturday night, and I’ve been drinking because my editor Nicki Arnold told me to be more advice-y because peop...
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Oh Baby, Just One More Time

March 5, 2009 by Staff

It's been a long time and I really need to get some. I'm dying for some action! I need it two more times before we go off to Spring Break. I'm not embarrassed to admit it's been over three months sinc...
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