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Break the Cycle, Not the Seal

May 14, 2009 by Derek Mead

It's a cycle as ingrained into us as peeing when we wake up. On a typical weekend afternoon, say Friday or Tuesday, you start to wonder what you're drinking that night. If you're underage, you start c...
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Caution: Wet Cement

May 14, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

Today I'm going to get on my soap box real quick, because something's bugging me.
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Hit the Sand for a Pipin’ Good Time

May 14, 2009 by Jimmy Fremgen

Last Thursday, I ventured out to play golf. As time has passed while I have been here at UCSB, I have come across several people that once played golf in high school and don't anymore, primarily becau...
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The Honeymoon Is Over

May 13, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

So, Mackenzie Weinger is our new editor in chief. I've accepted that. But I'm so sick and tired of this damn honeymoon.
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The Undercover Lover

May 13, 2009 by Jenni Perez

Sometimes sex is great, but conditions are not. Must star-crossed fuckers fornicators bid a tearful goodbye, promising that someday, perhaps in another lifetime, their sweating bodies will once again...
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In Africa, Hope Triumphs

May 13, 2009 by Chris Stein

The bearded man pulled down his shirt to show me the bullet's entry wound. "See, right there, that's where they shot me," he said as he pointed to a lump below his left collarbone. "But they didn't s...
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Final Thoughts on Floatopia 2

May 13, 2009 by Tommy Curran

Before Michael Young, Ron Cortez, J.P. Primeau, Lt. Brian Olmstead and the entire Santa Barbara Board of Supervisors start slapping each other on the backs for their collective efforts to derail Float...
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Obama’s Health Plan Ignores Human Nature

May 13, 2009 by Steven Begakis

I was recently asked what I thought to be the logic behind Obama's push for national health care, considering the superiority of our market-based system.
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Standards are for Chumps

May 12, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

Guys, why is it we drink Natty? Same goes for you, Keystone drinkers.
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Do Drugs Instead of Drinking

May 12, 2009 by Jonathon Nightingale

The I.V. Foot Patrol recently lead the charge to ban drinking on the beaches in Isla Vista and, through a massive dissemination of fear, convinced everyone that Floatopia would end all life as we know...
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Gays Shouldn’t Have to Say

May 12, 2009 by Alison Nugent

I came to the height of my pessimism the other night during a conversation about coming out. Inspired by gay pride last week, I want to talk about my ideals on the process of coming out.
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Much Ado about Floating

May 11, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

Man, how crazy was Floatopia 2? No, seriously, how crazy was it? I wasn’t there. What’s that you say? Why, you weren’t either? Hmm… It’s almost as though nobody actually ...
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On S&M and His Boxers

May 11, 2009 by Igor Hiller

Reader! We've made it. We have arrived at a milestone day. This is the ninth installment of "Dear Igor." Pretty darn fantastic, if you ask me. To be honest, I never thought we'd make it this far. A na...
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Prop 1A Is Just More of the Same

May 11, 2009 by Shaeffer Bannigan

Proposition 1A is a Trojan horse. It promises allocations of funds for education and infrastructure upkeep in a coordinated effort to decrease the state deficit. This is unfortunately not going to hap...
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I Have the Answer

May 8, 2009 by Ashley Macrorie

There are two main reasons that have led me to write this article. The first is the novels of Daniel Quinn, Ishmael and The Story of B, which I highly recommend all of you who find any merit in this a...
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