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The Weather Platform

Vote Weatherhuman! I'm running on a platform of embarrassing A.S. for all the stupid shit it pulls and bringing it down from the inside.
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Tweet, Pay Attention to Me

Last Saturday was as typical as any other one this year. I was slightly hung over, worn from a night's worth of dancing, drunken and impromptu wrestling and other shenanigans, and I found myself lying...
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This Earth Day Think About What You Eat

Much of 21st century agriculture occurs in fields far removed from the urban areas they feed. The visualization of food itself has, in large part, been transplanted from the farm and juxtaposed upon b...
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Nexus Fails to Factually Cover Any Relevant News

I am increasingly frustrated by the consistently irresponsible reporting by the Daily Nexus.
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PIKE Might Very Well Deserve Punishment

I'm a little confused by Aaron Wyse's column "Fight Night KO'd for Wrong Reason" (Daily Nexus, April 15). Now, having not been present for the incident of violence he discusses, I really can't offer a...
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“Green” Tips from the Nexus Staff*

1. Never wash your clothes. Just wear them in a cycle like they did in ‘Nam. 2. Stop using condoms and you stop wasting so much rubber. It’s simple economics. 3. Don’t buy any textbo...
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Happy Holidays

Hello, my fellow students. My name's Jon Nightlyinhale, I mean, Nightingale, and I've recently been appointed to the esteemed position of the Daily Nexus drug columnist. So let's talk about what this ...
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A.S. Is Not News

The Weatherhuman hereby endorses the Weatherhuman for A.S. President.
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On the “Next Level” and Not Wanting Babies

Hello, reader. I gotta say, our relationship is going great. I write my advice column, you pick up the paper and read it - it's perfect. Almost. I say almost because it's been feeling a little one-sid...
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Blast From the More Recent Past

Due to a grossly incompetent, underweight, allegedly male opinion editor who shall remain nameless, today's weather comes to us from the past. Like, yesterday.
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Derekpolitik

Let’s face it folks, the economy has been suffering for months, and all indications of the future portend much of the same. The Big Three automakers are dying at a continually hastened pace, the...
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Endorsement: EVPSA

THE EVPSA is our statewide representative, and likely one of the main individuals the UC Regents will associate with UCSB. The EVPSA should exude professionalism and must be able to represent students...
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Endorsement: EVPLA

OF ALL the candidates for all the positions, this was the most qualified set of people we talked to. We’d like to see Clay Carlson, Ashley Day and Hazel Putney stick around A.S. because all of t...
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Endorsement: Student Advocate General

THE STUDENT Advocate General is essentially a lawyer for students when it comes to university-related issues like cheating, plagiarism, infractions that take place in the dorms, etc. This person has t...
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Endorsement: Internal Vice President

THE INTERNAL Vice President has to be the nerd of A.S. The IVP runs Legislative Council meetings and has to know Roberts’ Rules of Order like the back of his hand. The president needs to be able...
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