Exhibitionists

April 2, 2002 by

I went looking for a warm patch of sand in Mexico to wile away the Spring vacation and wound up one night in Papas 'n' Beer. I found myself staring, along with a sizable portion of the sizable crowd, ...
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What’s gone wrong in Montecito

April 1, 2002 by

Crabgrass. Leased Lexuses. Mid-priced wine. Turgid brie. Gas-powered leaf-blowers shattering the morning silence. Un-neutered dogs mating in the streets. When you add it all up, it has some Montecitan...
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Hello, its Me, God. Listen up, suckers.

April 1, 2002 by

Hey everybody.God here. Thought I'd use my mystical power of divine intervention on this, the day following the passion of my humanish kid, Jesus.
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Serious issues facing our fraternities

April 1, 2002 by

Dude, brahs, sup?
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ZZ Top held at Guantanamo Bay

April 1, 2002 by

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan (AP) - The first planeload of ZZ Top bandmembers and their bearded fans departed from a Marine base at Kandahar's airport Sunday night and was flown to a U.S. military detention ...
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Marklar expects Marklar to introduce marklar

April 1, 2002 by

Marklar (AP) - President Marklar renewed his appeal for a marklar stimulus marklar Marklar as part of his 2003 marklar that proposes $591 billion in new marklar reductions, including a permanent exten...
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Bush declares LA Lakers World Champions prior to playoffs

April 1, 2002 by

Washington, D.C. (AP) - President Bush declared the Los Angeles Lakers the 2002 NBA World Champions on Sunday, in order to keep the nation focused on the War on Terrorism.(c)
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feature photo: Godzilla visits campus

April 1, 2002 by

Editor’s Note: This story is from the April Fool’s issue of the Daily Nexus.
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U.S. Army nukes the Philippines

April 1, 2002 by

A U.S. salvage team has found the remains of five American servicemen killed in the Army helicopter which accidentally dropped a nuclear bomb while participating in a counter-terrorism drill in the so...
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(No Ducks Were Actually Harmed)

March 8, 2002 by

The ducks seem more nervous in I.V. These ducks seem to sense a preditorial threat.
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Sports Feature Photo: Setting It Up

March 8, 2002 by

The UCSB men's volleyball team earned a four-game win Thursday night at Long Beach, defeating the No. 12 49ers. The Gauchos will return to action tonight in San Diego against UCSD.
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UC Briefs: March 8, 2002

March 8, 2002 by

The models — built from Lego bricks, a computer chip and thermal motion and optical sensors — will search for ice. "It makes me want to go into aerospace engineering even more than before....
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Liquid Death From the Heavens

March 7, 2002 by

It rained today, confusing many, and wetting everyone. Rain is mothernature's assassin.
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Sports Feature Photo: That’s Why It’s Called a Jump Shot

March 7, 2002 by

Junior forward Mark Hull and the UCSB men's basketball team begin play in the Big West Tournament tonight at the Anaheim Convention Center against Central Coast rival Cal Poly.
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Feature Photo: ‘Take a Look, It’s in a Book’

March 7, 2002 by

Senior CCS literature major Reagan Wilson displays her piece in the Please Take Your Hands Off My Spine show, running March 6-8 in the Arts Building Gallery 1434.
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