I went looking for a warm patch of sand in Mexico to wile away the Spring vacation and wound up one night in Papas ‘n’ Beer.

I found myself staring, along with a sizable portion of the sizable crowd, at a handful of girls on a second story balcony. They were seasoned exhibitionists, able to derobe themselves mid-stride or dangling from a brass pole.

The MC hollered over the PA system, “What happens in Mexico … ” and the crowd roared, ” … Stays in Mexico!”

Except for the diseases and babies.

Tuesday’s forecast: Illegal fireworks at sunset.