Editor’s Note: This story is from the April Fool’s issue of the Daily Nexus.

ZZ Top held at Guantanamo Bay

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan (AP) – The first planeload of ZZ Top bandmembers and their bearded fans departed from a Marine base at Kandahar’s airport Sunday night and was flown to a U.S. military detention camp in Cuba, a spokesperson said.

Small-arms fire erupted from the northern edge of the base as the bandmembers were shaved, and the Marines responded with heavy fire, Marine Lt. James Jarvis said.

“We have encountered enemy fire, which only adds to our fears that the band may have Islamic connections,” Jarvis said. “However, their extremist-looking beards and their obsession with legs – which normally remain covered in Islamic countries – has provided enough evidence thus far for immediate containment.

Bandmembers were to be chained to their seats and sedated in order to alleviate fears of possible follicle withdrawal during the flights to Cuba, according to USA Today and television reports.