You’re the Only One, Baby – ‘Til Next Month

November 5, 2003 by

I got paid yesterday. I leave for Vegas tomorrow. It was nice knowing you, Paycheck. Pity we couldn't be together a little bit longer. But hey, we should have a fun time this weekend, huh?
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Hold the Phone

November 4, 2003 by

Someone on campus gave the 'human an ugly look because she was standing next to me using a hands-free phone and I asked if she was talking to me.
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Gettin’ Dirty

November 4, 2003 by

Despite the rain-soaked grass, UCSB's men's lacrosse team practices on Harder Stadium field. This year, the team replaced its head coach Scott DeMonte with Mike Allan, who previously coached the team ...
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That Was a Lot of Money Back Then

November 3, 2003 by

Things are never how they appear on Halloween. My companion at an exclusive downtown bar amazed me with their ability to keep up for hours with my rare weatherhuman dance attack.
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November 3, 2003

November 3, 2003 by

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were cops," Steve told the officers, who noted in their report that they were in full uniform and shouting "sheriff's department" as they moved though the crowd.
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Slippery Like a Pissed-On Pig

October 31, 2003 by

Watch your step tonight. There's going to be horses with cop-jockeys stalking the streets of I.V. Personally, I'm not sure how we're going to handle the smell.
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Marshall Says She Won’t Run Again

October 31, 2003 by

Third District Supervisor Gail Marshall, whose representative area includes Isla Vista, announced Thursday she would not seek re-election to a third term.
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Jack-o’-Hot Line

October 31, 2003 by

The pumpkins reign tonight. I tell ya, those toothy fuckers will wait to bite you on the ass as you stumble drunkenly home from another famous Isla Vista Halloween - with the teeth you carved with you...
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How the Grinch Stole Halloween

October 30, 2003 by

"Halloween in Isla Vista: The Party Is Over." This is the subject line of the anti-fun e-mail that Richard Jenkins at the Office of Student Life sent out to students at UCSB, schools across California...
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Human In Black

October 30, 2003 by

The weathercomputer is on the fritz once again. The friendly technical support representative diagnosed my grumblings as resulting from a faulty motherboard.
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October 30 – November 6, 2003

October 30, 2003 by

Thursday 10/30 - Nearly every modern punk and rock group recognizes the Misfits as one of its top influences. Devilock takes their high regard to a whole new level by combining its talent to form a Mi...
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Weatherfever-Catch It!

October 29, 2003 by

Why do I have to get sick? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? And how will I bring laughter to the masses when I can't even breathe?
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Smoke on the Water, Fire in the Sky

October 29, 2003 by

The sun sets in the hazy western sky of Isla Vista Tuesday evening over Coal Oil Point. Smoke from the Ventura County wildfires causes the sun to take on unusual red-orange hues, as seen in this view ...
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Where’s Baldo?

October 27, 2003 by

As sure as there's an American dream, there's an IV dream. Baldo lived it to its depraved extent. He hotboxed FT. He stole booze from the local marts and hats from sorority girls.
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The weatherhuman has been approached by agents of the establishment.

October 24, 2003 by

From: XXX XXXXXXXX of the Alcohol and Other Drug Program: "I was hoping for more insights into the drugs and alcohol scene at UCSB/IV....What would be an effective way to communicate and dialogue with...
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