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Girl Who Reposts All Her Birthday Wishes To Instagram Story Edges out Ted Cruz and Fyre Festival Guy for Worst Person in the World

In an international poll with hundreds of millions of participants, Girl Who Reposts All Her Birthday Wishes To Instagram Story has narrowly been declared the worst person in the entire world. The rac...
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Plan To Leave Pregame with Friends for Party with Strangers and Terrible Music Still Good with Everyone

While enjoying a fun gathering of drinks, friendly faces and favorite tunes, everyone was still completely on board for leaving to go to a house party with sex-crazed belligerents and the world’s wo...
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Cool New Abroad Program Just Four Month Photoshoot at Barcelona Bunkers

Facing an overwhelming demand, the UCSB Education Abroad Program (EAP) announced the implementation of a new four-month program devoted to allowing its participants to simply take photos at the Barcel...
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First Three People Freshman Encounters Seemingly Become Best Friends For Rest of College

Bonding over living on the same floor, loving avocados and enjoying getting shithouse plastered four nights a week, freshman Bailey Simpson stumbled upon her three best friends for the rest of college...
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Internship Reveals Run of the Mill Trajectory of Rest of Life

Noting the rampant bitterness of his superiors for their long hours and monotonous daily routines, accounting intern Jackson Conners confirmed the unremarkable essence of the remainder of his days as ...
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Julia Feldman Wants to Make a Mark

Through her pursuits of music, feminism and environmentalism, Feldman is trying to save the world.
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