Weather

“I Know Now Why You Cry”

January 27, 2003 by

Did anyone else catch the pre-Superbowl show where Arnold introduced himself and half of the Raiders as a new race of Terminator machines?This is the same man who wrote a daycare bill for the last ele...
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Where Did I Leave That?

January 24, 2003 by

With midterms beginning and the first paper assignments of the quarter due, cleaning is not high on the list of priorities amongst the weathercavemates.
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Tannenbaum, But Not Forgotten

January 23, 2003 by

There's a preponderence of dry, discarded Christmas tree corpses all along the sidewalks of Pasado. What's a prank-loving weatherhuman to do? It's the Evergreen Ding-Dong ditch.
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The Most Unkindest Cut of All

January 22, 2003 by

The weathercavemates have taken to loaning out important dishes. Slowly but surely, the entire nonedible contents of our kitchen are disappearing.
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I’m Busy Saturday… I’m Busy a Lot.

January 21, 2003 by

I hate cell phones. I'm not talking about how they ring in the middle of an exam or how they play horrifying renditions of "Scotland the Brave." I'm talking about the automatic redial function.
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Weekend

January 17, 2003 by

If you're reading this, you missed out on the chance for a four-day weekend. But instead you're in class right now or studying in the UCEN. Way to screw it up for the rest of us.
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Hell on Wheels

January 16, 2003 by

My bicycle has turned against me. It's a simple collection of moving parts so basic that even I understand how it works. But no matter how many bolts I tighten, no matter how many times I fix the fix ...
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Knick-Knack, Paddy-Whack

January 15, 2003 by

The other day I came home from a hard afternoon of shopping for Thor's Tip-Top Thunderbolts and Ten-Trailer Tornados only to find that the weather cavemate had carelessly left out some cream-filled co...
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It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood…

January 14, 2003 by

I went up on my roof for the first time the other day and it just so happens that I have a perfect view of the neighbor's yard.
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Good Grub

January 13, 2003 by

When Columbus sailed in the 1400's (and yes, I know he didn't discover shit...), he and his crew took to eating meals at night around halfway through the voyage.
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Readin’, Writin’, ‘Rithmatic

January 9, 2003 by

I have a bone to pick with the quarter system. Depending on the courses I take, I probably have somewhere between 100 and 300 pages of reading to do per week, per class.
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Pushing the Envelope

January 9, 2003 by

Postage goes up because of people like me. I only buy stamps out of absolute necessity, and I refuse to purchase an entire book of them for any reason.
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Ethics for Sale

January 8, 2003 by

I bought the reader for my ethics course today for $90. It's nonrefundable. I can't sell it back. And when I balance my checkbook, I'll probably find I can't eat either.
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Postcards from the Edge

January 6, 2003 by

The Central Valley is a strange place. It is that neverland of California that never appears in Hollywood movies, unless of course it can be disguised as the Sahara Desert or an obscure feature on th...
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No Money Down, No Interest For One Week

January 6, 2003 by

This week, 20,000 students return to empty cupboards and new classes. This means an all-around run on any local stores that stock textbooks or Top Ramen.
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