The Most Unkindest Cut of All

The weathercavemates have taken to loaning out important dishes. Slowly but surely, the entire nonedible contents of our kitchen are disappearing.

First a dish, then a pot. That’s fine. But now a butcher knife is missing and at this point I get nervous. So far no one has a wild-eyed or murderous look, so I imagine I am safe for the time-being from ill intentions.

But this raises the possibility of it being stuck in the weathercouch, like every other item in our house smaller than three feet in diameter has been at one time or another. Far from a mere inconvenience or an invitation to find creative ways to chop onions, it may soon be, quite literally, a pain in my ass.

Wednesday’s forecast: Thanks, I’ll sit on the floor.