If you’re reading this, you missed out on the chance for a four-day weekend. But instead you’re in class right now or studying in the UCEN. Way to screw it up for the rest of us.
Get your ass off campus. It’s a holiday.
Friday’s forecast: Go away.
Weekend
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Please Don’t Try to Bike Over the Hump Pls
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Do: Practice being respectful. Don’t: Get caught up saying yes to all the Arbor's tablers.
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Do: Grab a coffee at Cajé. Don’t: Scooter to Campbell Hall.
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Do: Self-reflection. Don’t: Wear flip-flops to your 9 a.m. class.
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Do: Go to CLAS. Don’t: Keep spending money at Freebirds.
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Do: Watch a peaceful Campus Point sunrise. Don’t: Slap your ex on DP.
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Do: Give a new coffee spot a chance. Don’t: “Sleep through” your 8 a.m. class. Again.
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Do: Take a moment to breathe. Don’t: Flake on your Hinge date.
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Do: Use your dining hall plan. Don’t: Scroll through GauchoGuys during lecture.
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Do: Visit your TA. Don’t: Use Thriftopia as an excuse to binge spend.
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Do: Start applying to internships. Don’t: Hook up on campus.
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Do: Bow down to Chancellor Yang when you see him. Don’t: Fall off your bike.
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Do: Pick up the Daily Nexus. Don’t: Ignore your parents’ texts.
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