Weather

June 6, 2002

It’s dead week folks. The showdown.

By Staff

UCSB is full of do-gooders. People who are trying to end disease, violence and oppression, people who want to save the world. I salute you for your efforts.

May 31, 2002

Attack of the Carnivorous Weathercouch

By Staff

The weathercouch eats things. It's had several previous owners and when we got it, it came with a Gameboy, $1.75, and a remote for someone else's television.

May 29, 2002

You Know Who You Are

By Staff

All of your term papers are due this week

May 29, 2002

So Cool, They’re Hot

By Staff

Forget your sociology classes. Pop Tarts will lead us to a more egalitarian society.

May 28, 2002

Thus Spoke the Weatherhuman

By Staff

Once again, the old Weatherhuman is graduating to join the great pantheon of weatherbeings in the sky, and the torch is being passed to me.

May 24, 2002

MSN Porno

By Staff

Oh, the perils of checking on'es mail. Either due to inattention or clumsy typing, I accidentally tapped myself in a downward spiral of porn.

May 23, 2002

Weathercave II: Attack of the Drones

By Staff

I spent the day battling vermin.

May 22, 2002

It’s Coming

By Staff

Coming to remind your hard-working, 20 page essay-writing, blue book and scantron buying booty that you've done this to yourself.

May 21, 2002

The Rise of the Black Halter Tops

By Staff

I am concerned about the rise of fascism in Isla Vista. Squads of young women parade in their Mussolini-esque uniforms of black hotpants and stormtrooper hooker boots. While I do believe that everyone should participate ...

May 20, 2002

Weather: Exposing My Athletic Prowess

By Staff

I spent the afternoon playing with my balls.Balls of all the primary colors your television-diminished imagination can handle. Bocci ball is a game of precise skill. Competitors huck large wooden balls at a smaller ball....

May 17, 2002

Anger Lead to the Dark Side

By Staff

Some children have the erie ability to scream as if their skin is being slowly ripped off of their face.

May 15, 2002

The Stinky Underarm of Campus

By Staff

Warm weather has descended upon an unsuspecting Santa Barbara. Nowhere is this more apparent than the poorly ventilated corridors of Davidson library.

May 15, 2002

Trampin’ It Up

By Staff

What's more charitable than a bunch of drunk meatheads hitting each other? A bunch of drunk meatheads employing their drunk "sisters" to bounce up and down nearly naked on a trampoline.

May 14, 2002

Laundry Merry-Go-Round

By Staff

My crotch is damp right now. Yesterday, I spent $8.75 of the froggypopfund to entertain my clothes at the Laundry Fun Center (“the laundromat” to the fucking idiot). I poured in some detergent, and for only $...

May 10, 2002

More Peanuts for the Masses

By Staff

You know the big boxes that arrived in Storke Plaza Thursday?

May 8, 2002

Weather Talent

By Staff

I am retooling the weatherrésumé. I have decided that while there are a lot of things I am very good at, they are not necessarily things I want to advertise.