I am retooling the weatherrésumé. I have decided that while there are a lot of things I am very good at, they are not necessarily things I want to advertise. Instead of writing, “I have experience with data entry and toilet scrubbing,” I think I will promote my ability to “quote whole sections of Star Wars dialogue” and “eat an entire birthday cake by myself.”

Wednesday’s Forecast: Under special skills: “I can sleep for up to 12 hours at a time.”