Opinion

October 12, 2001

It’s the Noisy Apes That Get Noticed

By Steven Ruszczycky

Some of the things I've seen make me realize that it's no wonder people look at the student population of I.V. and denounce it as New Sodom.

October 12, 2001

10 Clowns Slither Onstage at Goleta Circus

By Brendan Buhler

Ten people are running for five city council seats in a non-existent city that will probably go broke.

October 11, 2001

Ugly Exteriors Hide the Hidden Beauty of UCSB

By Josh Braun

In architecture, they have a saying: "Form follows Function." Lately, when I look at our campus, I get the feeling that Form is trailing somewhere off in the distance. More likely it fell off a cliff and Function went on...

October 11, 2001

D’oh!

By Staff

The Simpsons was my only break in a long strenuous day of meteorological study and gesturing in front of a blue screen. Yes, yes I know there is one episode at 6- but really, is that enough?

October 11, 2001

Preservation Isn’t Just for the Birds

By Eric Cardenas

I ask the question, "Isn't it possible to provide protection for the plover while still providing for human use?"

October 10, 2001

Pernicious Plover Ploy

By Henry Sarria

At what point does environmental concern become a threat to the environmentalism itself? When it's mixed with hypocrisy, for starters.

October 10, 2001

Weather Palace

By Staff

I am lazy. The weathercave is cold in the winter and hot in the summer with extremely poor plumbing. On the bright side, it’s stationary. All I ask for is a home without wheels. So, while the weathercave has remain...

October 10, 2001

Sidewalk Writing Stinks – Chalk It Up to Stupidity

By David Downs

Civil Rights are evaporating fast and I'm tempted to agree with an unconstitutional amendment. Campus would be much less annoying if we flogged every half-assed activist chalking dumb sidewalk slogans.

October 10, 2001

Learn to Love Lingerie

By Molly Blank

Let your lingerie prove that beauty really does come from within.

October 10, 2001

Don’t Believe the Media Machine; This War Is About Oil Interests

By David Weston

Oil has been and always will be the United States' only objective in the Middle East.

October 10, 2001

If You Try Sometimes, You Just Might Find You Care About Stuff

By Staff

Apathy molests all of us at some point, but motivating yourself off your ass would likely make your life more fun and meaningful.

October 9, 2001

You’re Like, Famous

By Staff

I successfully resisted the urge to say painfully obvious things to him such as, "You're Dennis Miller," or "You really sucked on Monday Night Football."

October 9, 2001

To All the Contra Fans In the House

By Staff

I’m terribly disappointed with the camera resolution on the latest war. CNN footage looked like a close-up shot of slowing elephant dung. For the billions we drop in defense, we deserve satellite close-ups, not Dum...

October 9, 2001

Checkmate or Stalemate?

By Staff

Blowing up bits of Afghanistan may be satisfying, but will it accomplish anything?

October 9, 2001

Not Acronym Crazy? Live With It and Make Up Some of Your Own

By Staff

In my five years at UCSB, I have yet to find the "prize-winning science department." I've seen the prize-winning chemistry department, and the prize-winning physics department, but I can't seem to find the science buildi...

October 9, 2001